


Thrice Defied Him

by Caspian28



Series: Thrice Defied Him [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Sirius Black, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, F/M, First War, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Indian James Potter, James Potter is a Good Friend, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), One Shot Collection, POV James Potter, POV Lily Evans Potter, Person of Color James Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon Friendship, Sirius Black as Padfoot, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Severus Snape, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26106565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caspian28/pseuds/Caspian28
Summary: James has always loved Lily. Lily has always loathed James. But throw a Dark Lord in the mix and perhaps something will change.Mauraders era one-shots - two per year, one for each Lily and James - until 7th year when we pick up in full swing in the midst of the war. How do James and Lily defy Voldemort? What causes Peter to turn? How exactly is Harry conceived (lol)? And what on earth is going on between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Thrice Defied Him [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895518
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	1. First Year - Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 11/2/20 to add some substance and make it sound less like i wrote this chapter when i was 14 heh

"I did NOT say that!" Lily Evans shouted indignantly into the phone.

"You did, you admitted it. You think James Potter is cute," came the voice of her best female friend, Marlene McKinnon from the other end.

"That is _not_ what I said," she groaned, falling back so she was lying on her back on the couch. "James Potter is an arrogant, bullying, slimy-"

"But cute," interjected Marlene.

"Not cute."

"LILY," came the voice of her mother from the kitchen, presumably. "Get off that phone, I need it!"

Lily sighed theatrically. "I gotta go, Mar. I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express tomorrow, okay?"

"See ya Lils!"

There was a click as Marlene hung up the phone. Lily had only been gone from Hogwarts for two weeks, but was already missing the castle and her friends. She had explained to Marlene how to use a phone (her parents, both being wizards, had never needed one), and Marlene had been using her next door neighbour's phone every day of the break so she and Lily could talk. Lily had made quite a few friends in her first few months at Hogwarts, but other than Severus, Marlene was her best friend.

"You kids and these telephones," said her mom, chuckling as she came into the room. "What's wrong with sending letters?"

"It takes too long, mum," groaned Lily. "Phones are faster than owl post, even."

Her mother rolled her eyes in response which Lily took that as her cue to leave. "I'm gonna go see if Sev is around," she said as her mum began dialing the phone.

"Be back before dinner!"

"I will, Mum," Lily responded. At the door, she pulled on her coat and boots to ward off the cold. Her wand remained in her room, as it always did when she was at home. She couldn't use magic outside of school and besides, it didn't seem fair to rub the fact that she was a witch in Petunia's face. Severus would probably be appaled that she didn't carry it everywhere, but then again, he hadn't grown up as a muggle.

She was nearing the park at Spinner's End when she spotted him sitting alone on one of the swings. Lily smiled secretively. At Hogwarts, she had been sorted into Gryffindor and Sev into Slytherin. They didn't often have classes together, and many of the Gryffindors didn't approve of the Slytherins. Her time with Severus had been reduced to studying in the library after classes, which was a disappointment to Lily. After all, he had been the person to teach her about the Wizarding World and prepare her for Hogwarts. He was her first friend from the wizarding world, not to mention her best friend.

"Sev," she called out when she got close enough. He turned and smiled at her. It was snowing, so his black hair had flecks of white in it and he looked cold. But his black eyes lit up when he saw her, anyways.

"How has your day been?" he asked as she sat down on the swing beside him.

"It was okay. Tuney was at a friend's house all day, though. And I'm leaving tomorrow, so I doubt I'll see mcuh of her before I go," responded Lily sadly. Petunia had been scarce all break. Lily understood that she was jealous, but it still hurt to not have her older sister around.

"I'm sorry," he responded, but she noticed the almost minute eye-roll that followed the apology. Severus, of course, did not approve of Petunia's jealousy in the slightest.

"How were things at home today?" she responded with a change in topic.

"Okay." He shrugged non-commitally. "My dad’s been… well, you know. It'll be good to be back at school."

She nodded and they lapsed into silence for a few minutes. Lily looked out at the park. It was rather dismal in the winter – much nicer in the summer. She and Tuney used to play in it all the time. And, it was the place where she first met Sev, and where she first discovered she could do magic.

"I know one thing that won't be good about being back," she said as her thoughts strayed to the conversation she had had with Marlene earlier.

"Potter and Black?" responded Severus levelly.

"Got it in one," said Lily with a groan. She brushed her hair out of her eyes. The wind had picked up and was blowing hard around them. “I wish we saw more of each other at Hogwarts,” she said after a moments silence.

She could feel Sev looking at her, but it was shrouded. She couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking. “I know,” he said finally. “I wish…” he trailed off and looked away from her suddenly.

“I don’t think any differently of you, you know,” he said finally.

“What do you mean?” Lily asked. She was sure she knew the answer, but puzzled as to why he would even bring it up in the first place. He stood from the swing, suddenly, and motioned for her to follow him. His skin was pale, almost sallow in the afternoon light. She could see bruises that marked his arm, disappearing into the sleeve of his jacket.

“That your parents are muggles,” he said finally. “I know people make fun of you.”

He didn’t have to specify who “they” were, she knew he meant his friends – the other Slytherins. While Lily, upon being sorted into Gryffindors, had made friends quickly with the girls in her year, Sev hadn’t felt the same about the boys. She had thought it might be her fault, at first – that they hadn’t liked that his best friend was a girl. She had learned a lot since then, mostly about what it meant to be born a witch into a family of muggles. It was frowned upon – and it wasn’t just the Slytheirns, although they were often the meanest about. Lily had learned quickly to not speak about home so much, or her life before Hogwarts.

Severus had reassured her that it was because he just didn’t like any of the boys in his dormitory – and besides, she was his best friend. Still, though, she worried that being friends with her was making him a target amongst the Slytherins.

“It’s okay,” she said with a sigh. “I got bullied before Hogwarts, too. I guess even wizards have bad eggs,” she gave him a small smile. “That’s why I have you, though.”

“And that’s why I have you,” he said, smiling back. “Plus, I’d be hopeless at charms without you.”

She smacked his shoulder lightly. They were nearing her house, now. She could see it just up the road.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” she asked, looking over at him carefully. He had never said yes before, but it didn’t stop her asking every time.

“I can’t,” he responded almost immediately. His hair was falling into his face, and she resisted the urge to push it behind his ear for him.

“That’s okay,” she said quitely. “I’ll see you on the Express tomorrow, yeah? I’ll sit with you the first half of the ride.”

He smiled properly at that and it made Lily’s chest warm. “Okay,” he said, before giving her a quick hug goodbye.

She ate quickly with her parents – Petunia was still out – before heading up to her room, determined to get a head start on some of the material they would be covering in class after the break.

The next time she looked up from _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ it was dark out. She stacked the book neatly back into her trunk where everything was already packed and slipped out the door to her room.

The hallway was dark and quiet. She felt her way along it until her hand hit a familiar doorknob. Turning it slowly, she entered Petunia's dark room. She had done this so many times throughout her life that she knew the layout of Tuney's room like the back of her hand, so creeping through the dark to Petunia's bed wasn't a challenge at all.

She shook Petunia awake and whispered, "sleepover?"

Petunia's response was to grunt in annoyance, but she did roll over and leave space for Lily in the bed. Lily crawled in, wishing, not for the first time, that her sister could come to Hogwarts, too.


	2. First Year - James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James has always loved Lily. Lily has always loathed James. But throw a Dark Lord in the mix and perhaps something will change.
> 
> Mauraders era one-shots until 7th year when we pick up in full swing in the midst of the war. How do James and Lily defy Voldemort? What causes Peter to turn? And what on earth is going on between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black?

**First Year – James**

"-Greasy, slimy git that he is," James finished with a puff of anger. He was lounging sideways in one of the chairs by the fire in the common room – the most comfortable chair, actually. The upper years were all on the last Hogsmeade trip of the year, so the first and second years had the common room to themselves, which meant, of course, that James got his favourite chair.

"Hear hear!" responded Sirius enthusiastically. He was lying spread eagled on the ground, his slightly long black hair flopping behind him and sticking up at odd angles. Similarly to James, it often didn't lie flat (although, James suspected Sirius caused it to stand up intentionally).

"Can we _please_ talk about something other than your budding obsessions with Snivellus?" groaned Remus. He was curled up on one end of the couch by the fire. Peter, on the other end, nodded feverishly in agreement.

"Fine then," sighed Sirius. "What about why you disappear every month?"

Remus rolled his eyes but James and Peter both perked up instantly. This had begun the boys' favourite new game, to spring the question on Remus whenever he was least expecting it. After all, a bloke's best mates were going to notice if a bloke disappeared once a month all year.

"I told you," he said in exasperation, "my mum was sick this month. Dumbledore let me go home and see her."

"Yes, yes," responded Sirius with a wave of his hand. "And the month before that it was your dad, and before that your grandmother. We're not daft you know."

"It's true, they-"

"Would you three stop bugging him?" came a lofty voice from the portrait hole. James twisted his head so he could see behind the back of the chair, and saw none other than a very amused Marlene McKinnon and a very frustrated Lily Evans standing behind him. He also didn't miss the grateful look Remus shot Lily when she had spoken up.

"Oi!" exclaimed James, suddenly angry. "How come she knows, but we," he gestured wildly to himself, Sirius, and Peter, "your best mates, don't?"

"She doesn't know anything," said Remus quietly. James watched closely the look that passed between Remus and Lily.

"You're lying," he said. "She knows."

"I don't," she responded in the same lofty voice. She had rounded the common room as James was talking so she was standing behind Remus instead of behind James. "I just happen to think that people are entitled to their privacy, Potter. Clearly it's not something you would understand."

With that, Lily spun on her heel and walked with Marlene up the staircase towards the girls dormitory, leaving James spluttering in disbelief.

"Can't believe – entitled to privacy…best mates, bah."

"So you don't think I'm entitled to my privacy?" asked Remus mildly.

"He has a point, you know," put in Peter. "Remus, I mean."

Sirius, James noticed was staying decidedly silent, and only shrugged in response to James' questioning look. Remus, though, seemed to have caught on.

"I think I'm going to go study," he finally said. "Exams coming up and all. Want to join me, Pete?"

"Sure, can we go over defence? Only, you're really good at it and I can never make the spells work."

"Course, Pete," James heard Remus say as they walked away. "We'll do disarming first, yeah?"

When they had left for the library, James kicked Sirius in the side. "Let's go for a walk, yeah?"

They left the common room in silence and wandered through the halls, meandering their way towards the Entrance Hall so they could take their well-used path around the lake to their favourite tree. James glanced over at Sirius, who seemed to be deep in thought.

Once they got outside, though, he perked up. Nudging James at the shoulder, he said, "Bet I can beat you to the willow," and tore off in the direction of the lake. James followed, running as fast as he could to catch up to Sirius and soon outstripped him, though just barely. They both collapsed in a heap at the base of the tree by the lake.

"I don't want to go home," Sirius said once he had sat up and caught his breath.

"I know, mate," James responded, regarding his best friend with concern. Sirius had hardly been home in their first year. He spent the majority of his time during the Christmas and Easter breaks at James' house, although he had appeared at home occasionally. "Regulus is still there, though. You shouldn't leave him alone. You might make a Gryffindor of him yet," said James with a small smile.

"I won't, you know I wont. He's already mum's favourite. He'll be a Slytherin, through and through, just to make her proud. Imagine – my little brother hanging around Snivellus next year. Good thing Bella was gone before we even got here, and Cissa's not evil enough to be dangerous. Too bad Dromeda's graduating this year."

Sirius often said that Andromeda Black was his favourite cousin. James also particularly liked Andromeda, from the few occasions he had met her. She was a Slytherin, just like the rest of the Black family, but wasn't particularly mean. She had no inclination towards the Dark Arts, either. Although, if James though about it, this must be true of at least a couple of the other Slytherins. Andromeda had friends, after all. But Slytherins like her didn't just pop up everywhere. Snivellus and his already forming gang were proof of that.

"I'm going to come to yours sometime this summer," James finally said. To his surprise, Sirius outright cringed in response.

"You can't do that," he said.

"You can't stop me," retorted James. "Plus, I want to meet Regulus. See if he's as hopeless as you say he is." Sirius didn't look convicned that this was a good idea at all. "I learned how to do a Permanent-Sticking Charm earlier this year," James said finally. "I'll come over and we can stick anything that'll annoy your parents to your room. They won't be able to get it down." James grinned at Sirius, and Sirius' face morphed from a frown to a small, sly grin back.

What he didn't tell Sirius, however, was that he hadn't learned the spell by himself. After Easter, he had approached McGonagall to ask. He supposed that Professor Flitwick would have been the better option, but going to his Head of House had seemed like a better idea at the time. She was reluctant to teach him how it worked, until he, somewhat begrudgingly, explained what he wanted to do for Sirius (or, rather, Sirius' room). To his surprise, once he had explained, McGonagall had helped him learn the charm to perfection, all the while with the ghost of a smile on her normally stern face.

Sirius' face fell again, though. "Won't we get caught? We can't do magic-"

"Are you daft?" asked James incredulously. "They can't trace the magic to the user, just the place. If you're in a house full of wizards, no one will know who cast the spell. They won't suspect two twelve year olds of being able to cast a charm like that anyway."

"Wicked," said Sirius, grinning again. "I didn't realize we could – I mean, you never do at your house."

"That's because my parents would probably report me to the ministry if I ever did," said James, with a noise somewhere between a groan and a chuckle. He knew enough to tell his parents generally spoiled him, but magic outside of school was one of the few things they didn't tolerate at all.

"You know," he said after a long moment's silence, "if things ever get too bad, just floo to my house, yeah? The fireplace in my room. Mum and Dad won't mind."

At that, Sirius' face broke into a real, genuine smile. They sat for a few more minutes, before James broke the silence once again.

"What do you say we go find the others? I think we have an end of year prank to plan." James stood up and reached out his hand to pull Sirius, who was wearing a devilish smile, to his feet.

"I have a great idea for this one, trust me," Sirius said. "Everyone will remember it all summer."

And with that, they took off in a sprint back towards the castle. After a quick stop at the kitchen to grab some food (they had discovered the entrance within their first couple weeks) they took off toward their dormitory, where Peter and Remus were already waiting. The four talked far into the night, James and Sirius sitting on Sirius' bed, Remus on his own bed, and Peter on the floor. Eventually, they all fell asleep where they were sitting, James and Sirius almost on top of one another in their bed, each secretly wishing that the other had been born his brother, not just his best mate.


	3. Second Year - Lily

**Year Two – Lily**

Lily shut her books with a sigh. Sev had been studying with her, but he left with Avery and Mulciber less than an hour ago and she couldn't focus anymore. Instead, she looked around the library. It was nearing Christmas, so most of the library was full of OWL and NEWT students who had more work than the rest of the school. Everyone else was probably outside taking advantage of the snow.

"Hey Lils," came a voice from beside her. She turned to find Remus standing awkwardly by her table. They often studied together, but when she was with Severus, as she was before, he usually sat a good distance away.

"Hey," she smiled at him. Remus was by far her favourite, if it came to comparing James, Sirius, Peter, and him, although she supposed Peter wasn't so bad either. The four of them had taken to calling themselves "the Maurauders" this year. Lily had no idea why they called themselves this, but she assumed it had something to do with their many nighttime wanderings. They had never really hidden the fact that they wandered around at night, but somehow, they never got caught either.

"D'you mind if I talk to you for a minute?" Remus asked quietly, slipping into a chair beside her.

"Sure," she said, shutting her book with a resounding thump. "I can't focus anyways."

Remus had become, other than Severus, her closest friend in their second year. Marlene was still her closest female friend and was planning on staying with Lily over Christmas (Lily would stay with her during Easter), but she was not often around at school, having made the Gryffindor quidditch team as a chaser even though she was only in second year. She had also gotten quite close with Sirius, whose company Lily could not stand.

Remus looked around, almost worriedly, and leaned in closely to talk to Lily. She knew what was coming before he said it; it wasn't the first time they had had this conversation.

"Do you _really_ think I should tell the others about my…well, you know." He looked at her helplessly, but she knew what he was trying to say.

"You mean, that whole thing where you don't have a family member falling ill once a month, every month?"

Lily, of course, hadn't missed the signs that he was a werewolf. It had only taken her a few months to put it all together, but she wasn't particularly surprised. It explained why he looked slightly off a lot of the time. She hadn't confronted him about it, though, until the conversation she and James had had in first year about staying out of Remus' business. Ever since then, she'd been trying to convince him to tell his friends that he was, in fact, a werewolf.

He smiled wanely at her. "Yeah, that."

"You know I think you should, Rem. I don't like any of them much, but I know they won't care. You're they're best mate."

Instead of looking comforted, Remus looked even worse. "You don't understand, Lils," he said finally. "You're muggleborn, and that's not a bad thing," he added hastily when he saw her look. "It means you grew up without all the prejudices of the wizarding world. No one likes werewolves, Lily. It's a miracle Dumbledore even let me in. I already know I'm not going to be able to find a job after I graduate. No one will let me once I'm a werewolf."

"Right," cut in Lily, "but that's all to do with the future. You can figure that all out later. That doesn't have anything to do with your best mates."

"Yes it does," he responded, sounding desperate for her to understand. "Sirius and James, they're both purebloods. They'll have those prejudices because that's how they grew up."

Lily couldn't help but scoff at that. "Remus, think about it logically. They're not my favourite people in the world, but even I can admit that they're not all bad. They don't believe in all that blood supremacy garbage anyway. If they don't hate me for being muggleborn, why would they hate you for being a werewolf?"

"Because it's _different_ ," he responded with a moan. "Muggleborns are one thing, but at least you can still get jobs and you're not treated any worse to your face. Werewolves are, Lils. It's not the same." Remus had slumped so his head was resting on his arms, which were folded on the table. Lily slid over and tentatively put a hand on his back.

"You're right, Rem, it is different. But it's not because you're a werewolf. It's because, unlike the rest of the wizarding world, you're friends with them. They know you and they're not going to throw that away just because you turn into a wolf once a month. They're good people, even if they're idiots. I never thought I'd say this, but especially Sirius. He broke away from the beliefs of his entire family by himself, without outside influence. You really think he'd be bothered that you're a werewolf?"

Remus finally looked up at her and smiled slightly. "You're right, you know. I still don't know if I can tell them, though. Not yet."

"Why don't we set a goal?" asked Lily practically. "A goal with a consequence. That always helps me when I have to do things I don't want to do."

"So is that how you get through Binns' homework then," asked Remus jokingly.

"Maybe, but don't tell anyone. This is a very important Lily Evans secret that I'm letting you in on." She grinned.

"I won't, I won't," he responded, raising his hands in mock surrender. "What's my goal, then?"

"You have to tell them before the end of our second year. That gives you a lot of time to figure it all out."

"Fine, and what's my consequence?"

"What, wounding your Gryffindor pride isn't enough of a consequence for you?"

Remus laughed at that. "Please, Lils, I'm not James or Sirius. I can do with my pride being wounded every once in a while."

"Fine. If you don't, I'll tell them myself." Remus' only response was to grimace. "And I'll hex you," she added as an afterthought.

"Lily! That's not fair!" exclaimed Remus, loudly enough that Madam Pince, the librarian, shushed them loudly. "The first part was enough."

"Well then," she said with a twinkle in her eye, "I guess that means that you have double the incentive to not fail, don't you?"

Remus' only response was to groan.

"What's wrong with _him_?" came a voice from Lily's other side. She turned to see Sirius, smiling amusedly down at both of them.

"He's just suffered a very severe disappointment," said Lily, forgoing the use of the lofty voice she typically reserved specially for James and Sirius. She was determined to drop enough hints over the next year that Remus would be forced to tell his friends that he was a werewolf. And that could only happen if she was at least somewhat friendly with Black and Potter.

"And what sort of disappointment could bad enough to put Remus out of good cheer?" asked Black, a look of fake shock and horror on his face.

"I just found out that she – what was it, Lils? She thinks you're a good person." Lily turned to Remus in shock. He was grinning rather triumphantly. Comeuppance for the threat of a hex, she supposed. "Which is obviously bad for me, because how will I have time to study with Lily if we have you tagging along everywhere we go? Since, you know, she doesn't hate you and all."

Lily was glaring daggers at Remus. Sirius clearly noticed, but chose to ignore it and instead called, "Oi! James, Peter!" louldy enough to cause Madam Pince to "shush" them particularly violently. James and Peter emerged from behind a bookshelf, clearly arguing about something.

"What is it?" asked James, almost wearily. He was eyeing Lily as though she might explode at any second.

"Evans thinks I'm a good person," said Sirius, grinning as broadly as if he had just singlehandedly won the Quidditch Cup.

"How do you know that?" he asked suspiciously.

"She told Remus, and Remus told me. Just now," Black responded smugly.

James snorted in poorly disguised laughter and then turned to Remus. "So, if Sirius is a 'good person', what am I, 'a bloke of godly proportions'? The most amazing person Evans knows?"

Lily caught Remus' eye with a glare, but he just grinned back at her.

"She doesn't like you particularly," responded Remus blithely.

James' spluttering and Sirius' roaring laughter was enough have Madam Pince enchant their books to chase them out of the library. And while she would have liked to stay and study, Lily realized that maybe the Mauraders weren't _all_ so bad after all.


	4. Second Year - James

"I've got it, Sirius," said James finally. It was a warm spring day, the weather was nice, it was a Saturday, almost everyone was outside, Remus and Peter were who-knows-where doing who-knows-what, and James and Sirius had shut themselves in the back corner of the library for the better part of the day.

"Are you sure?" responded Sirius.

"Positive. Look at the calendar. It matches almost exactly with ours. There isn't another explanation, Sirius. And now we have proof." James turned to watch as Sirius bent towards the pieces of parchment James was holding, studying them both carefully.

Over the past year, they had been carefully documenting whenever Remus had disappeared because of a "sick aunt" or whatever other excuse he had come up with. Sirius had had his suspicions. James had disagreed at first, but once they had documented it all and compared it with the lunar charts, he was convinced.

Remus was a werewolf.

"I told you so," said Sirius, although for once he didn't look very triumphant. "So, what do we do now?"

"Ask him about it, I guess." James shrugged. "It's not as if it bothers me. He hasn't killed anyone yet." There was strain in his attempt at a lighthearted tone, and he knew Sirius could hear it.

"I don't think there's a thing Remus could do that would bother me," said Sirius after a moment's silence. James thought he looked almost wistful. "Anyways, what better way to make my parents hate me more? Befriending the Hogwarts werewolf. Father would go _mad_ if he knew."

James glanced at his friend with horror. "You can't tell, Sirius. You can't tell anyone! I'm not even sure we should tell Pete, really."

"Of course I'm not going to tell anyone," responded Sirius, looking highly affronted. He glanced around and lowered his voice quickly as some giggly first year Hufflepuffs entered their back corner of the library. "And of course we should tell Pete, you know he won't care either. We're Mauraders, for better or worse."

As it turned out, it was harder than they thought to get Peter alone to explain their revelation to him. Pete wasn't exactly known for his subtlety, and James was determined to avoid Remus figuring out that they knew until they were ready to speak to him.

Mostly, he reflected, he was worried Remus would realize what they knew and separate himself from them. He was sure Remus expected himself and Sirius to be anti-werewolf. They were raised by pure-blooded families, after all. Really, the idea had taken some getting used to. He and Sirius had spoken endlessly about it since their discovery. In that roundabout way discussions can go, they had come to the conclusion that Remus had been one as long as they had known him, and knowing what he was shouldn't change their friendship. It's not as though Remus was any different from the boy they were friends with the day before their discovery. What had changed wasn't him, it was them and their knowledge.

They weren't able to speak to Peter alone until the next full moon. Remus had left – this time claiming his mother was getting progressively more ill and he would be visiting her once a month. They bid him farewell and gave their well-wishes to pass to his mother before abruptly dragging Peter back to their room to talk.

Sirius stretched out on James' bed, chocolate frogs in hand while Peter and James sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed. They sat in silence. James had no idea how to start the conversation, and it looked as though Sirius felt the same way.

"You blokes dragged me all the way up here just to sit in silence?" Peter finally asked. "What happened to your 'top secret conversation'?"

James glanced at Sirius, who suddenly looked very absorbed in his chocolate frog card. So much for his best mate helping him out, then.

James sighed, long and drawn out. "Sorry, Pete. I'm just not sure how to say this."

"James, at a loss for words?"grinned Sirius, briefly looking up from his chocolate. "Someone needs to alert _The Daily Prophet_."

"Git," James rolled his eyes. "You could be helpful, you know." Sirius merely shrugged and turned back to his chocolate frog card, so James turned back to Pete.

"You know how Remus disappears every month for some emergency or another?" he asked Peter. The other boy nodded readily.

"He told me he has bad genetics. I'm not really sure what that means, though."

James scrunched his nose and Sirius shrugged. "We've no idea, mate," Sirius piped up, "but we know it's not the actual reason."

"What d'you mean?" Peter asked. His eyebrows had shot up past his hairline. It gave him a wide-eyed, confused look about him. Usually, Sirius would take the mickey out of him for it, but today he just looked beseechingly at James to continue.

James pulled out the lunar chart he had in front of him and opened it. "This whole school year we've been tracking it. Sirius had the idea first, and I didn't believe it 'til now but – it's been consistent since we started paying attention. Plus, it would explain why he always looks so sick and tired when he comes back to school."

Peter's face had gone pale. "What are you saying?"

"He's a werewolf, Pete," Sirius piped up. "There's no other explanation."

James could see that Peter's hands were shaking. Sirius was never good at subtlety – or delicacy with information.

"A – a werewolf? How long have you both known? And you're still –" Peter's voice had risen to almost a shriek "- you're still friends with him? He's probably _killed_ people."

"Cool it, honestly," grumbled James, glancing worriedly at the door to their dorm. If anyone had overheard Peter, James might just become a killer himself. "He hasn't killed anyone, Pete. There's no way they'd let him at Hogwarts if he had. Dumbledore wouldn't dare."

"Pete," Sirius had sat straight up and was looking intensely at Peter, "this is Remus were talking about. He folds his socks. He helps first years find their way around the castle. He offers chocolate to everyone he meets. He's the kindest person we know." His cheeks held the faintest blush and he looked away when James raised his eyebrows.

"I'm just saying," Sirius finally mumbled into the silent room. "He's always been one, it doesn't change how we knew him at all. He's still the same bloke."

"You're really serious," Peter finally sighed, looking at James for confirmation. "And it doesn't bug you?"

"We've had time to think it over," responded James. "And no, I don't think it does. It's like Sirius said," he glanced at his best mate bemusedly, "he's still the same Remus we've always known. Plus, we have an idea."

Sirius grinned, almost feraly, and ruffled James' hair affectionately. "James was looking for ways to help Remus," Sirius began. "We kept reading that the transformations were really painful and horrible for werewolves, especially when they don't have a pack."

That wide-eyed look had returned to Peter's face, and James had to laugh before Pete even said anything. "No, Pete," he chuckled, "we're not saying we need to become werewolves for him." Peter, for his part, at least had the grace to look embarassed.

"Sirius found some books his parents had over the break. They're all quite mean about werewolves and other part-humans, quite frankly, but some of it was helpful. We know werewolves need a pack, and some of the books even said that they would befriend animals they found –"

"I think it actually said bewitch," interjected Sirius with a cool smile. "Not that I think Remus is particularly capable of bewitching anyone, for that matter."

"Semantics," James responded with an accompanying eyeroll. "The point is that I think we _can_ help him by becoming his pack. We just have to learn how to be animagi!"

"You're kidding," said Pete in response. "We're in second year, James. That magic is advanced. We'll never learn it before we finish Hogwarts."

"So then we don't," said Sirius, "then we learn after. But we still have to try. And the sooner we start, the sooner we'll finish. We're Mauraders. We can do anything."

Peter looked up with a small grin. "I guess you're right. We're not telling Remus though, are we?"

"We have to tell him what we know," James said with a sigh. "I'm sure there are ways we can help in the meantime, like when he's tired after the transformation. But we can't tell him about becoming Animagi."

"You're right," said Sirius. "I want to – but if we told him and couldn't do it…"

Peter nodded in agreement. The three boys sat in comfortable silence, and James knew that he had, quite possibly, the greatest best mates a bloke could ever have


	5. Third Year - Lily

" _Marlene!_ " shrieked Lily as she dashed for the door of her house. Her mother had already answered the knock and Marlene had stepped into the foyer.

She wrapped a massive hug around her best friend, the force of it almost knocking them both over.

It was nearing the end of their spring break from Hogwarts, and Lily had been driven nearly _mad_ with boredom. Sev had stayed at Hogwarts – probably getting close with the elder Slytherins and their cronies, Lily had thought bitterly. Petunia had made herself scarce. They'd had a row over Christmas that had caused Lily to accidentally light on fire some wrapping paper Petunia was holding. Tuney was clearly still angry about it – or scared, Lily wasn't sure. But she had apologized hundreds of times, and they were now at a stand-off. Lils wouldn't apologize one more time, but Tuney wouldn't budge and forgive her. So, to cheer her up, Lily's mum had called Marlene's mum, who had agreed to let Mar stay for the last two days until the term started back up at Hogwarts.

"I missed you so much," squealed Marlene. They detached themselves from each other, Lily grinning ear to ear. She was so glad she had Mar around now. "Plus, I need your help with that History of Magic homework."

Lily mock groaned in response. "Have you even started it, Mar?"

Marlene just grinned back at her. "Race you to your bedroom! Nice seeing you, Mrs Evans," she added, before dashing off.

"You girls have fun," Lily heard her mum call after her as she followed Marlene, dashing around the corner and up the stairs. "Don't forget supper in an hour!"

The girls giggled their way through some History of Magic and a _lot_ of boy talk. Tuney made no appearances for supper, which disappointed Lily if only slightly. She was glad that it wouldn't give them a reason to fight – but really, she left again for Hogwarts in two days. She just wanted to see her sister.

"How's Petunia?" asked Marlene later that night. The girls had curled up in Lil's bed, finally giving up on their History of Magic for good. Lily peered over at Marlene's face, illuminated in the soft glow of her bedside lamp. Her blonde hair was spread on the pillow around her head like a halo. Marlene had been gazing at the ceiling, but she shifted to meet Lil's eyes as if feeling her gaze. She looked curious, but also had a bracing look around her – as if she already knew how Lily would answer.

"I haven't seen her, really," Lily said with a sigh. "She's still angry about Christmas, honestly. It's just been me and mum, really. I almost wish I had stayed at Hogwarts."

"With the Mauraders?" Marlene wrinkled her nose at Lily, prompting a giggle from Lily.

"I suppose you're right, that would have been horrid." Lily mock shudders, although she can't help think that it might have been better. After all, Sev was still at the castle, so she would have had him. And Remus and Peter weren't all that bad, at least Remus could have helped her with the Herbology essay she'd been struggling with. Plus, Mary MacDonald had stayed for the break since her parents were travelling. Lily had even felt slightly guilty, leaving one of her best mates all alone in her dorm. But really, she had missed her parents something awful. And maybe she had even hoped things would be better between herself and Petunia if she came home. Clearly, that hope had been misplaced.

"They're not all so bad," Marlene concluded Lily's unspoken thoughts. "Well, mostly. Potter's a right git."

"So's Black," laughed Lily. "You never know if he's going to high-five you or hex you."

"He's fit, though," Marlene reasoned somberly. "Almost makes it worth putting up with his unpredictability."

" _Marlene,_ " Lily groaned in mock horror, but couldn't hold her mask of disdain for long. Both girls dissolved into peals of laughter.

"Do you remember when he proposed to McGonagall?" Marlene asked with another snicker. Lily groaned back, in real disdain this time.

It was in their second year – the four boys had just begun calling themselves the Mauraders, and they had hexed Severus' hair pink in the middle of the Great Hall. McGonagall had been furious, and had stormed down from the Head Table to deliver detention to Potter. Of course, Lily thought, it would have been Potter who had done the actual casting of the hex. What a git.

Somehow, this had ended in Sirius, down on one knee, holding an actual honest-to-god ring. Rumour has it he nicked it from his parents, and Lily wouldn't be surprised if that were true, knowing Black. The phrase "Minnie, will you marry me?" had even been uttered before McGonagall had served him enough detentions to last the rest of the term. He hadn't even been disappointed, the git. If anything, he had looked thrilled.

"Do you remember how red her face got?" continued Marlene, giggling now. Lily couldn't help but laugh, too. Her friend's laughter was honestly contagious.

"I can't believe he called her Minnie," Lily said through giggles. "If he hadn't been a student, she would have hexed him for sure."

A door slamming and a shout of "Shut _up_ , freaks!" came from somewhere outside Lily's bedroom and she felt her heart sink, all laughter gone.

"Lil-" Marlene started as Lily stood up out of her bed, but she waved Mar away.

"Let me handle it," Lily sighed to her friend. "Be back in a mo'."

She brushed her red hair out of her eyes as she stepped past the threshold of her door. Across the room, the door to Tuney's room was cracked open. It was quiet, but her light was on. Further down the hall, she could see the light to her parent's bedroom was off.

"Tuney?" Lily whispered, nudging Petunia's bedroom door open with her foot.

"What do you want?" her sister asked dully, if not a little bit viciously back.

Lily looked at Petunia, curled up in the corner of her bed with a book. Her brown hair was drawn back and clipped out of her face and it looked like she had the residue of makeup still on her lip. Lily almost asked where she had been, but stopped herself. Petunia wouldn't tell her anyways.

Not too long ago, Lily would have curld up at the end of this bed herself after a day of adventuring with Tuney. When they were younger they were thick as thieves. She wasn't exactly sure when that had changed, but she did know why.

"Sorry for being so loud," she finally responded.

"Whatever, Lily. We all know you're a freak, you don't have to shout about it." Petunia hardly glanced up from her book at all. It made Lily feel like her heart had dropped to her stomach.

"Tuney, why are you being like this?" She didn't care that she sounded like she was begging, although her mother would have said it was unbecoming. Petunia would have said so once, too. But now she just looked at Lily cooly.

"Honestly, I don't even know why you bothered to come home," Petunia spat back at her. Lily took half a step back; the words felt like a physical blow. "We're happier without you, when you're at your freak school."

Tears threatened to spill from Lily's eyes, but she willed them back. The last thing she wanted was to give her sister the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She knew what would happen – it always happened when the older Slytherin's at school taunted her – Petunia would see the tears and it would add more fuel to the flame.

"I'm still the same, Tuney. Nothing's different about me."

"You're right," her sister finally said, looking her up and down. Petunia's tone was soft, almost, but there was something about the look that made Lily keep her guard up. Still, she wasn't prepared for the pure hatred that came out of her sister's mouth when their eyes made contact again. "The difference is that now I know what you are."

The tears spilled over and Lily was paralyzed from it. Marlene's voice appearing suddenly in her ear was a saving grace.

"C'mon, Lils," her friend whispered, pulling her back from Petunia's room. She gave Lily a gentle shove toward her own room but didn't follow. Lily stopped – suddenly unsure without Marlene by her.

"Honestly, Petunia," Marlene's voice came from behind Lily. She turned to see her friend had poked her head into her sister's room. "I know you're jealous, but you don't have to be such a bitch."

Marlene spun on her heel, pulling the door shut behind her. It was loud enough to make a point, but not loud enough to wake Lily's parents. She was grateful for this – her parents didn't really know what to do when the girls fought, and Lily didn't blame them. Before Hogwarts she hadn't had a single argument with Tuney. Now? They hadn't said nice words to each other in at least a year.

The sobs came, then. Lily couldn't hold them back any longer. She felt Marlene place a hand on her back and lead her to her room where they curled back up in her bed. They were quiet for a while, Lily's sobs loud in the silence of their room.

"I don't know what to do, Mar," Lily finally gasped between sobs. "At Hogwarts I'm a mudblood and here I'm a freak. I don't really belong anywhere, do I?"

"Oh, Lil," Marlene sighed back. Lily relaxed as Marlene stroked her hair off her tear stricken face. She willed herself to stop crying, and felt the sobs slow down and turn to quiet whimpering tears. "That's bollocks and you know it. I know the Slytherins are arseholes." This drew a wet giggle from Lily, to which Marlene gave a wry grin. "We can't really help that, but I promise no one in Gryffindor thinks that. And Petunia will come 'round. She's just jealous, I can tell."

Lily relaxed into Marlene and her words. She felt a little bit more hopeful – about the school part at least. Really, she wasn't so sure about Tuney.


	6. Third Year - James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m v bad at updating regularly pls don’t hate me :(((((((

**Third Year – James**

"It needs to be big," Sirius said with a glint in his eye that James didn't quite like. He was huddled in the Mauraders' favourite corner of the common room housing a low table against the wall with a chair and a couch. James sat on the chair – rather like royalty at the head of the table if he did say so himself (and he did, often). Peter was on the couch, wedged between the wall and Sirius. Ever the obnoxious one, Sirius took up the rest of the couch. He lay on his back with his head next to Peter's legs and knees bent upward at the arm of the couch. Remus was perched on the arm, still looking peaky and sleepy from the last full moon. He was leaning heavily on Sirius' legs to help him sit up, although someone who did not know the Maruaders as well as James did may not have noticed.

"I thought the point of this prank being our best yet was that we weren't going to be caught," quipped Remus in his quiet but steady voice. "Not that it should be small, I suppose. But as chairman of Exceptional Prank Planning, I'm afraid I'll have to veto anything too large." He gave a mock-theatrical sigh and flipped his long hair out of his eyes.

"Exactly, Moony. That's why it needs to be big! Everyone will _know_ , but no one can _prove it_ ," announced Sirius so aggressively that Peter had to shush him before they were heard by the rest of the common room. "Which is your job, might I add, no matter the size of the prank."

Remus grumbled good naturedly and nudged Sirus' legs with his elbow. While he was distracted, James and Sirius exchanged a smug glance. This meeting was officially titled _Mission 1974,_ as the last and greatest prank of 1974. It also held an unofficial title between James, Sirius, and Peter, however, _Mission Cheer Moony Up_.

The last full moon had been exceptionally hard on their fourth friend. It had been nearing a week ago now, but the wolf had done so much damage that Remus had been sent to St Mungos for some sort of reconstruction. James wasn't exactly sure what; although Dumbledlore had given in to the begging of the boys and allowed them to visit Moony in the hospital, he had refused to tell them what damage had been done – Remus, too, had remained tight lipped, though he often was about the wolf.

"I mean, he's not wrong," James finally conceded with a sigh. "It's the last prank of the year, besides. It should be something people notice. And talk about, so it needs to be big. But you're right too, Moony, we can't get caught or it ruins the whole thing!"

"Trust me to have the biggest job of the lot of you. And with one exam left, still. How will I manage?" Remus mock-fainted, landing directly on top of Sirius' sprawled form.

"Oof, get your fat arse off of me, you prat," groaned Sirius, though he made no move to move Remus anywhere. "You didn't have to take the Runes exam anyway. Dumbeldore, McGonnagall, _and_ Vector all insisted you skip it."

It was true, Remus had been offered a pass on his Ancient Runes final due to his _Furry Little Problem_ , as James called it, but he refused to hear any of it. Somehow, he had managed to talk down the Headmaster himself, who allowed Professor Vector to write up a new practical exam for Remus to take next week, just before they left Hogwarts for the summer.

"You're a prat," Remus shot back. He hoisted himself up to sit on the top of the table, deftly dodging their pranking plans and sketches that had been laid out before them. "Anyways, we're getting off track here, lads. If we want to avoid getting detention for it we need two simple things."

"A proper alibi and plausible deniability?" James smirked at Remus. It was something Remus lectured them about often. If they wanted less detentions, they needed plausible deniability – that is, no one needed to be able to say they _didn't_ do it, but no one should be able to pin the pranks specifically on them either. Generally, though, James, Sirius, and Peter enjoyed the notoriety. Plus, they never had alibis. Remus was caught the least frequently of all of them and James was pretty sure it was due to him being chummy with the girls of their year.

"Yes," Remus shot him a tired grin back. "But no, I was going to say that the prank needs to affect everyone equally, and we should work in some sort of time-delayed effect. That way we all have alibis when it actually begins."

"But that means…" began Peter, who trailed off as if unsure.

"Oh no," Sirius put in.

"Oh yes." With a wicked grim, Remus pulled the plans for the prank in question off the table and tossed them at James. It was only the latter's Quidditch reflexes that kept them from being scattered everywhere.

"The belching one?" James raised his eyebrows. "You're serious?"

"It checks off all the boxes. We can make it affect everyone, Pete already had time delay built into the plans and I _know_ you and Sirius are proficient enough with potions to make it work. It's perfect," Remus said, almost gleefully. And yes, it was perfect. It would also be the most royally stupid prank they had ever pulled. But, James supposed, at least it would be memorable.

James could see Sirius mapping out the same thought process he had just had himself, albeit slightly slower. Remus looked smug. Pete was gleeful.

"Finally!" exclaimed Pete when James' eyes landed on him. He was cackling uproariously. "My best plans, seeing the light of day at last."

"These are hardly your best plans, Pete," quipped Sirius in response. "That time you dared me to propose to McGonnagall? That was definitely some of your best work."

"This is even better, Sirius. It has a certain… _eau de toillete_ to it."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Perfume?"

James and Remus had begun laughing now, as Pete's expression faded form gleeful to confused to…slightly constipated? "Is that what that means?" he finally gasped. "I always thought it was, like, bathroom related things, you know?"

"Sweet Merlin Pete," James choked out between guffaws. "Please never try speaking another language again."

Remus was the first to compose himself, wiping the tears from his eyes and leaning back against the wall that the table was resting against. "So it's settled then. All we need is a day, location, and our alibis."

"And my charming smile," added Sirius smugly.

"Yes, yes, and Sirius' charming smile to distract the elves so we can slip the potion into the morning drinks."

So it had been settled. The prank and plan were purely Pete's, who had initially suggested it as a joke when the Marauders had been stumped for new prank plans almost a year ago. It was a simple modified potion brew for a joke potion that caused the drinker to hiccup. James and Sirius had figured out the time delay aspect almost instantaneously and then had put their heads together with Remus (who was excellent at potions theory but lacked applied skills) to put the rest of it together.

What resulted was a potion that, two hours after drinking it, would cause the drinker to belch uncontrollably every single time they tried to utter any sort of verb. It could be undone with a simple counter jinx – if anyone could figure the jinx out.

After some discussion, the plan was set. The last Hogsmeade weekend was taking place in a mere two days. The morning of the trip, they would add the potion to all the drinks the elves had prepared for breakfast in the Great Hall. Everything from pumpkin juice to coffee would get a generous dosage of the potion, with the exception of any of the drinks going to the professor's table. Just in case any went down for an early breakfast. For most students, this meant that it would kick in right around the time they'd be meeting their dates at Hogsmeade, and wouldn't be resolved until everyone was back at the castle so the professors could administer a mass counter jinx to the student body.

James had to admit that although juvenile, it was an excellent prank with an excellent plan. Incredibly intricate but foolishly simple – which., if he was being honest with himself, was probably what gave the Marauder pranks so much notoriety to begin with. There was just one problem…

"The girls are going to be _so_ narked off by it," groaned James.

"By 'the girls' are you sure you don't mean just a certain red-headed witch?" Peter asked with a phony air of innocence. James could feel his face heat, thanking Merlin, Morgana, McGonagall, and anyone else he could think of for his darker toned skin that hid his blush.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he sighed in an attempt at nonchalance. "Emily Goldberg is absolutely not my type." Of course, he knew that wasn't who they were talking about. Emily Goldberg was a Ravenclaw seventh year who he knew only because she was the Ravenclaw's quidditch team captain. They were, of course, talking about Evans.

And sure, maybe he had noticed her more this year, especially after Easter. Except it was mostly because she seemed quieter, if anything, and he couldn't help noticing how someone who went out of her way to argue with him before was now almost stubbornly quiet. And sure, maybe he had also noticed she was pretty. But her hair was just a very unique shade of red! And _possibly_ he had spent more time than normal talking to the lads about her.

"Don't be daft," needled Pete. "You know exactly who I mean."

James' blush must have been showing by this point, because Sirius remarkably stepped in. "C'mon Pete, don't be so hard on him." A wicked grin grew on his face. "She is right behind him, after all"

His heart sped up in his chest almost inexplicably. Forgetting that he was supposed to be vehemently denying everything Peter was saying, he whirled around to look behind him.

Evans was not behind him. In fact, she was just now strolling in through the portrait hole, giggling at something Mary had been saying to her.

"You git," James bit out furiously at Sirius, spinning back around. "You are both horrible and cold hearted, honestly."

Sirius laughed uproariously and sat up where he had been lying. "Honestly, you should have seen the look on your face." His laughter was contagious, and even James felt himself begin to chuckle. "I can't believe you even bought that, mate. I was on the couch, I couldn't even see behind you."

"Oh, bugger off," said James with a rueful grin.

"You should just ask her, honestly," piped up Remus. He hadn't been laughing, but was watching James, Peter, and Sirius with something that looked like bemusement on his face. "We have Hogsmeade this weekend. Plus, if she says no, at least you'll know. And if she says yes, then you'll be the first lad in our year to get a date to Hogsmeade."

"You're right, Moony," responded James. He ruffled his hair as he composed himself. He could feel adrenaline coursing through his veins, although why his body thought he needed adrenaline for this he wasn't sure. She was just a bloody girl. A beautiful one, sure, but just a bloody girl, honestly.

His nerves mounted as he turned to see Lily across the common room. She had just settled herself in front of the fire with Mary on her right and Marlene, who had come down from their dormitories to join them, on her left.

"Oi, Evans," he found himself calling across the common room. She whipped around and gave him a questioningly wary look. "Go to Hogsmeade with me."

She merely raised her eyebrows back, and James felt his whole body deflate back into his chair. "In your bloody dreams, Potter," she said, when he had finally sunk into his chair as low as he could possibly get.

The rest of the lads were shaking with silent laughter. Pete was almost on the floor and Sirius was back on his back, tears streaming from his eyes. As always, Moony was the first to compose himself.

"Tough luck, mate." He gave James a sympathetic look. Peter had calmed himself down too, but Sirius was still laughing. His laughter was making James angry, and James honestly wasn't even sure why.

"You're laughing like it's so easy," spat James finally, "as if you'd have any better luck."

Sirius had the good grace to sober up quickly, but also shot James a smirk. "Is that a dare?"

Merlin, sometimes James hated his friends sometimes. "Of course it is, you bloody berk. Let's see what you've got."

"Anything can top 'Oi, Evans,'" grinned Pete. "Honestly anything, mate. Don't know what you were thinking."

James just rolled his eyes. He hadn't been. This wasn't over, though. He'd figure out how to do it properly. He mentally noted down his most important goal for the upcoming fourth year – convincing Evans to go out with him.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to take you up on that," Sirius sighed theatrically. He pushed himself up and jumped over the back of the couch. He, too, ran a hand through his long hair before sitting himself down on the other side of Marlene and slinging an arm around her shoulders.

They spoke in hushed tones. James couldn't see anything, but he _did_ notice the blush staining Marlene's cheeks. Less than a minute later, Sirius rose and sauntered back to his friends.

"Mischief managed," he said with a wink at James. "Marlene will be accompanying me to Hogsmeade next weekend."

James groaned loudly, but shockingly it was Remus who looked the most affronted. "It's the last Hogsmeade of the year. It's supposed to be just Marauders!"

"Sorry Moony," Sirius winced and looked mostly apologetic, James noted. "But this can only be good for us."

"Why?" scoffed Peter and James at the same time. Clearly it was not just James, the other two were at least a little bit upset at Sirius too, albeit for different reasons.

"Well, with a non-Marauder spending the day with us, we have – what do you call it, Moony?"

James didn't particularly like the look on Remus' faced as he grinned back at Sirius.

"Plausible deniability," Sirius and Remus intoned simultaneously.


	7. Fourth Year - Lily

"I just don't know what to do, honestly," Lily sighed. She was sitting on her bed in her dormitory across from her two best friends. Mary and Marlene were perched on Mar's bed sharing a box of Honeydukes Finest Chocolates the three girls had purchased their last Hogsmeade weekend.

"You know our advice isn't going to change, Lils," Marlene responded to her. "You need to talk to him, and if he won't listen, maybe it's time to stop holding onto that friendship, you know?"

"You'll always have us, anyways," said Mary with a wink in her direction.

Lily smiled back at her friends, but it was hollow. She had this discussion dozens of times a week with her friends since their fourth year had started. Now, as the first week of November had arrived and Christmas was quickly approaching, her friends had grown bored of it. Lily, however, was still as conflicted as ever.

"It's real though, you know?" she finally sighed. Both her friends glanced up at her, momentarily distracted from their chocolates. This was something she had not yet voiced to anyone, save Remus Lupin – the only Marauder she liked. And he was easy to speak with. He knew what it was like to be a _Mudblood_ ; not exactly, maybe, but they had concluded many times that being a werewolf was quite similar when it came to the fear and prejudice the title carried with it.

"What do you mean?" Marlene finally asked, breaking the silence.

"The muggles are noticing," Lily finally settled on saying with a sigh. "The disappearances. The Ministry is good at covering it up so the Prophet doesn't get wind of it, but the Muggle papers are having a field day. Mum almost didn't want me to come back to Hogwarts this year – as if they should even be scared for me here. We're safer than anyone."

It was true, although Lily was more worried for her mum than the other way around. Sure, at this point the only people who were being targeted were Muggles. They could be anywhere – at home, at work, on the tube – and they'd just disappear. It was one of those things in the wizarding world where everyone knew but no one would speak of it.

The facts were clear, however. There was a group going around calling themselves the Death Eaters who was headed by a man called – if you would believe it – _Lord Voldemort_ who were behind the disappearances. Now, of course, the group had started purely political, spouting their pureblood, anti-muggleborn, nonsensical rhetoric, and still maintained that their interest was purely political. This means that everyone knew they were behind the deaths and disappearances, but no one could connect them to it. Not to mention the cover-ups happening by the Ministry and the Daily Prophet (as if withholding information somehow made people worry _less_ ).

No known muggleborn families had been targeted yet, but most knew it was a matter of time. Every night, all the muggleborns and half-bloods would huddle around a small table in the Great Hall next to a muggle wireless someone had betwitched to work in Hogwarts but catch radio frequencies as far as London. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw alike would huddle around it listening for names of people they knew to be listed as disappeared. Mostly sighs of relief swept through the room at the end of programming. Less often, it was a friend or a friend-of-a-friend from the period Before Hogwarts.

Lily gathered her thoughts as her friends remained patiently silent. "Back in first year, Severus wanted to be friends with Malfoy of all people. _Seventh year_ Malfoy. Followed him around and everything. And I thought, yeah it's a belief in the world that's bloody shite but he has a shitty life. So maybe he just needed someone to look up to, you know?"

She shifted so she could pull her legs up under her and a blanket around her, suddenly feeling exposed. Marlene and Mary both moved to sit on either side of her. Marlene swung an arm around her shoulders and Mary an arm around her waist, pulling the three of them together.

"But really, Lucius and Bellatrix Black, Lestrange, even Narcissa were all calling themselves Death Eaters already. And I can't help but think that right now, _right now_ , all of them are out there and they're responsible for these people disappearing. That's who Sev wants to be like, right now. That's who he's around – just now its Avery and Mulciber and Wilkes and Rosier is the ringleader of their little Hogwarts group instead of Malfoy. And Rosier's vile, he's probably doing whatever Death Eaters do when he's away at Christmas and Easter. And Sev has been going to Avery's during the holidays. _Avery_!"

Lily sniffed and realized she had been crying. Not hard and not loudly, just tears rolling softly down her cheeks. "So I don't want to talk to him, because I don't want to hear him say it's true, because if he says it's true, what he's basically saying is that I deserve to die just because of who I am and how I was born. But he was also my first wizard friend. He's the one who _told_ me I was a witch. So I don't understand how he can go from being my best friend to hanging around those slimy gits and seem so self-satisfied about it when he's with them but then get all apologetic and sad when it's just the two of us."

Lily was crying now, real ugly tears that made her face all red and blotchy. She sank back into her friends for a moment. Mary held her close and was almost rocking her, despite being much shorter than Lily. Marlene was stroking Lily's har – braiding it and unbraiding it, her dark ebony skin a stark contrast to Lily's pearly white complexion.

"I'm sorry, Lils," uttered Mary softly into her ear. Both her friends could empathize more than most, Lily knew. Although neither had been friends with Severus at all neither were purebloods either. They knew the fear and the heartache – although, both being half-bloods it might have come in smaller amounts, but it was there and it was relatable nonetheless.

The dormitory door opened, almost with a bang as Lily began to calm down and Alice stormed in. She stopped dead in her tracks as she laid eyes on Lily, the expression on her face morphing from nervous to concerned.

"Alright, Lils?" she asked, slightly uncomfortably. Lily smiled at Alice. Alice was sweet and kind and one of Lily's best friends as well, but she did not do well with tears of any sort. She was the type of person who could fly into a righteous anger and be spurned into motion, not the kind of person that needed a good cry about it beforehand. Plus – being a pureblood (although a decent one and a blood traitor to boot), she didn't quite understand everything her other dorm mates went through. She sympathized, of course, but from a family of purebloods who were all able to protect themselves she could never quite understand. Lily breathed a moment.

"Yeah. Just…Sev stuff," she smiled abashedly at Alice. "What happened to you?"

The anger was back on Alice's face. "Just – Rosier. I was walking back up here alone," she sighed at the look on the other girls' faces. "Stupid, I know, but it was late and Frank was supposed to walk me back and I couldn't find him _anywhere_ , so I left the library. Turned round a corner and Rosier was there. Grabbed me as if he was waiting for me. And he," she froze up a little. "It doesn't matter. I hexed him and got away and then Frank and James Potter of all people came out of nowhere and got me away."

Lily felt herself sitting up before she could even think – perhaps spurred on by Alice's anger. "Was he alone?" she demanded. She had made up her mind before Alice had even nodded in affirmative. "I'm talking to Severus now," she managed to grind out as she pulled a jumper on. "This is… it's just complete bloody shite. Dumbledore should expel the lot of them."

She was off before her friends could even think of a response. She strode purposefully through the common room, ignoring the looks and explanations as people realized that _Lily Evans_ was going out _after curfew_. In her brazen rush she even managed to physically push past Sirius and James, who had jumped up and looked like they were intent on stopping her. Perhaps she looked just that mad, but in this moment she did not particularly care.

The library was where he would be right now. Probably with one or two of his Slytherin cronies. Definitely breaking curfew – but none of their vile crew cared about points won or lost any longer. She ran, narrowly dodging Filch and Mrs Norris on her way there. By the time she reached the library she was out of breath and panting, but it only fueled her.

He was exactly where she thought he would be, the table in the furthest corner of the tallest stacks of the library, head bowed together with Mulciber. Both looked up startled as she approached.

"You're foul," she growled at them both, eyes set on Severus. "Do you know what Rosier did to Alice earlier?" She caught her breath and laughed – a harsh derisive sound even to her own ears. The faces of both Slytherin's remained passive. "You probably do, don't you? And you don't care. Well I hope you know that whatever happens, you'll come out on the losing side. You'll wind up dead, and you'll probably deserve it, too."

Sev's eyes widened a fraction, and although his face was a mask she knew she had hit him and it hurt. It drove her down in a spiral from her anger-fueled high and suddenly all she saw before her was the same nine year old boy who just needed a friend.

"Sev," she started with a gasp, "I –"

"Save it." Mulciber's voice cut over her own meek apologies. "You've told him what you really think, don't you? Not that it matters, filthy mudlbood." He spat on her face.

Before she could muster a response, she heard four voices behind her, screaming expletives and spells simultaneously. Lily looked up, without wiping Mulcibers saliva off her face, and met Sev's eyes. For one, brief moment, he seemed to reach out to her, but it was too much. Lily turned and fled.

Tears flowing freely, she pushed her way past James and Sirius (again? Maybe she was hallucinating) and then Remus and Peter (so definitely not hallucinating, then). Three voices called her name as she fled. Severus, calling "Lily," almost drowned out by James' shout of "Evans!" and Remus' plea of "Lils." She could hear footsteps behind her and Merlin, she hoped it was Remus because she could not handle James Potter right now on top of everything.

Unsure where she was running, she eventually hit a corridor that ended at a tapestry of a witch brandishing a sword. With nowhere to go, the person behind her caught up to her. She felt arms wrap around her and she leaned into it; the scent of smoke and wind was overwhelming and so assuredly not-James-Potter that she didn't particularly care who it was. She turned her body into the hug and was met with the feeling of leather on her cheek. It drew a giggle, even through the tears.

"Sweet Merlin you women are strange," came the telltale voice of none other than Sirius Black. "What in the name of Merlin's saggy left testicle could have you laughing at a time like this?"

"Merlin's left testicle?" she giggled again. Any other time she may have found it immature, but not now. "Not his right one?"

"Ah, no. You see, legend has it his right one is a perfect orb." Black grinned at her and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Rather than offering it to her, he leaned forward and used it to clean the mess on her face – the fresh tears mingling with Mulciber's drying saliva.

She smacked him on the arm. "I was laughing because I have no idea how you get away with that jacket. It's honestly atrocious." She tugged on his leather jacket – which he wore _over_ his robes – for emphasis.

"What can I say?" responded Sirius. "Three years into Hogwarts and I've already become the stuff of legends. Minnie has learned to pick and choose her battles." He winked at Lily. "Now, Remus is controlling James so he doesn't run after you in some sort of chivalrous fit, and there's no chance we'll make it back up to the common room without getting caught. So why don't you tell me what on earth just sent our calm, level headed Lily into such a rage?"

"I'm not _your_ anything," she quipped, but sank down against the wall anyways. Sirius dropped down beside her, so their arms were just brushing. She didn't quite hate it, although maybe she didn't know Black well enough to have a proper opinion.

"It's just – were you there on Thursday? When we listened to the wireless?" They came to listen, sometimes. All four of them – although it was really most for Peter's sake. He and Remus were both half-bloods, although Remus had few connections in the wizard or muggle world.

"No," said Sirius. "None of us were. It was the full moon this year. Moony just got out of the Hospital Wing today."

"Right, well…that Slytherin muggleborn, Janet Upworth? She's in our year. Or she was, I guess. There was a girl who reported missing, around our age. She was friends with Janet in primary school. They still saw each other on the hols. It was awful. Slughorn and Dumbledore came in, had to pull Janet out. Last I heard she flooed home and her family is moving to France. She'll go to Beauxbatons, I think." Sirius hummed in agreement.

"And it just got me thinking, I mean – it's real." Quickly, she described what she had told her friends earlier the same night, although with fewer tears. "And then Alice came in and I was just so _angry_. How can I be friends with someone like that?"

"Well," sighed Sirius, "if it helps, Rosier is under a full body bind and stuffed in a broom closet. We figured we'd let him out in the morning, if Filch hasn't found him by then."

Lily regarded Sirius for a moment and made a move to stand up. As if they boys could say they were any better – going around and treating people like that. But Sirius was quick, and his arm wrapped around her shoulder, effectively stopping her from moving.

"Lily, stop. I'm sorry. I'll even let him go now, if you want me to." She rolled her eyes, knowing full well he would do no such thing, but gave him a small smile. Because honestly, leaving someone in a closet in a full body bind? That was tame for Rosier. Tame for most of them. Even in the halls of this school. Merlin knew the teachers did bloody nothing to stop them.

"You're right," he conceded, as if hearing her thoughts, "I won't. But seriously Lils, I get it."

"Look," Lily sighed. "This is kind of you, really. But I don't see how you can understand."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and Lily remembered just a moment too late. _Of course_ Sirius would get it and he was maybe the only other person in the school who could empathize, with his younger brother in Slytherin and all.

She could tell Sirius saw her brain working it out, because he gave her a small smile and continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Sometimes I don't think I can do anything, you know? He was my best friend and then I left for Hogwarts and when I got back he was just…gone. I guess my parents figured that I was a lost cause, but they could still raise Reggie right."

Lily slipped an arm around his waist and Sirius let her. "I don't know how much you know about my family. I'm sure not a lot," he grinned ruefully at her. There was underlying meaning. _Because we aren't friends_ is what he was saying. _Because we don't know anything about each other_. She shook her head for him to go on.

"They're Voldemort supports. No," he said at the look on her face, "not Death Eaters. But as far as I'm concerned it's not much different. Reggie will be one, though. I can already tell. It's just like Snivell – sorry, I mean Snape. The crowds he hangs around with, the stuff he says. It's all there."

"So what do you do?" she finally asked, her voice cracking. "How do you make sure he doesn't end up like one of them?"

"I don't do anything," he said, with a sympathetic look. "I try to be the best brother I can be I guess, when we aren't fighting. When he lets me be his brother. The rest of it – it's his choice. It's not like he doesn't have other options."

Lily thought on that for a moment. And it was true; as much as Regulus had made his choice as soon as he made friends at Hogwarts, so had Severus. Maybe even moreso, because Sev hadn't come from a family that believed so ardently in what Voldemort was preaching. He hadn't even known who Voldemort was.

"Then how do you live with it?" she finally asked.

"Like I said," Sirius responded. He was looking down and fiddling with his cuff with the hand that wasn't around Lily. "I try to be the best brother I can be. And I hope too. I hope that this doesn't turn into war. I hope we don't end up on opposite sides." His voice turned steely. "Because if there's war, I'll fight. And it won't matter if he's my brother, then. It'll matter that people like him have to be stopped."

They sat in silence for a long while. Sirius' head drooped against her shoulder and his breathing evened out until Lily was sure he was asleep.

"I'll still make up with him, though," she whispered to the darkness.

Sirius shifted to glance up at her. "I know. I'll always make up with Reg, too. Until it's too awful to, I guess. You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

"Thought you were asleep," she responded.

"I know," Sirius smirked back at her. "What can I say? I'm a light sleeper."

"Berk," she pinched him on the side with the arm that was around his waist. "Guess you're not so bad after all, Black."

He grinned, standing and puller her to her feet as he did so. "Hey, we're friends now. You have to call me Sirius, now that you know all my deep, dark, brooding secrets. It's only fair."

"I don't know if I can handle that level of commitment, _Sirius_ ," Lily joked.

"Oh, but you have to," Sirius responded dramatically. There was an almost maniacal glint in his eyes. "Imagine how much it'll annoy James."

Lily laughed. For the first time in days, she truly laughed. Not for the first time she realized that maybe the Mauraders weren't so bad after all. Even if they were all gits. Perhaps it was just part of the charm.


	8. Fourth Year - James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would anyone be interested in a side series where I do one-shots of each year like this but from Sirius and Remus' point of view?? We'll get chapters from their POV from seventh year onwards as well, but I'm curious what everyone thinks about that

"You can't just keep yelling at her across the room, James," Remus said with a sigh. The Maruaders were sitting underneath their favourite tree by the Black Lake. The weather had just started to warm for the spring, and James particularly felt this sort of day called for skiving off lessons and prank-planning. Currently, that meant the Mauraders were lying in the sort of heap that they were prone to – Moony with his head in Sirus' lap, Sirius with his head in James' lap, James slouched against the tree, ruffling his hair habitually, and Peter sat up leaning against James. They had not, however, skived off any classes – Remus would never allow it. Instead, they were taking advantage of their spare time before dinner by doing precisely no work whatsoever.

"Technically, it was across the grounds. At least I was polite," James glowered down at the top of Remus' head. Honestly, best mates were supposed to be on your side.

"Jamie, calling 'Oi, Evans!' is not the least bit polite," Sirius laughed openly, tilting his head to catch James's eye.

"He did say 'Go out with me, please,'" Peter added, looking up from his Transfiguration book with a grin. James had the distinct feeling all his friends were taking the mickey out of him.

"Honestly lads, she'll cave yet. I'm fairly irresistible." James raised an eyebrow at his three friends, as if daring them to argue. Remus and Peter wisely ignored him, Peter flipping a page in his book as Remus shifted and closed his eyes. Sirius just rolled his eyes.

"You'll have to grow up if you want anything from her, mate," Remus finally mumbled after a moments silence. He was still curled against Sirius, looking, for all intents and purposes, as if he were asleep.

Remus worried James often. It seemed the moons were getting harder on him each year he aged. The other three were close to finding their animagus forms, but James and Sirius were still having trouble brewing a perfect animagus potion. Peter was still having trouble with the theory, and had taken to studying as much extra transfiguration as possible.

Pushing his concerns to the back of his mind, James scoffed. "I _am_ grown up." The Mauraders hadn't had a detention in a fortnight (except Pete, but it was his own fault for blowing up his cauldron during Potions), and he hadn't even laid eyes on Snivellus in _days_. "What would you know about what girls want anyways, Moony?"

"I am friends with girls, you know," Remus sniffed loftily. "Just because I don't go around making a fool of myself every time I see one." He sat up slowly and turned to face James and Sirius, his long sandy hair falling across his face. "You know I'm friends with her, and I know what she thinks of you. It's not all true. You're an excellent mate, for one. Maybe you should try that."

"Try what?" James ruffled his hair in a nervous gesture. He had lost the plot a little, if he were to be honest. He knew Moony and Evans were friends, he didn't know they _gossiped_ about him during their little study sessions.

"Being her friend," Peter toned as he flipped the page in his book.

James rolled his eyes. He loved his mates, but sometimes they didn't understand him at all. He didn't want to be mates with Evans, he wanted to-

"He wants to snog her, Pete, not befriend her," Sirius finished his thoughts for him.

"I'm just saying," said Remus, putting his hands up in a placating gesture, "that he might have better luck with that if he tried to see her as a human first, not just a prize to snog."

"Whatever," mumbled James, ruffling his hair again. Sirius grunted as James shifted his weight to a more comfortable position. "Can we talk about something else, now?"

"How're the charms on the map coming, Moony?" Sirius asked almost immediately. "Reckon we could start on the fourth floor next week."

The Mauraders had spent the past two years putting all their knowledge towards creating a map of the school. James was proud – the initial idea had been his. Upon completion, the map would show all the locations of the school as well as everyone in it and where they were at any moment in time. The charm work was a bit tricky, but they had put Moony in charge of most of it since he had the least energy for exploring the castle. Peter was responsible for most of the actual drawing, which left James and Sirius in charge of the exploring and helping Remus when needed.

"I'm stumped, honestly," Remus sighed, slowly lying back down. "Matching magical signatures to the locations of actual named individuals is harder than it sounds in theory."

"Doesn't mean we can't keep mapping, though," Sirius added. "It's not as though any of your charms work will be useful if we don't have a proper map to use it on."

James hummed in agreement, closing his eyes for a moment and letting the warmth of the sun wash over him. "We can all do some adventuring tonight," he concluded. "I want to get the passage to Honeyduke's mapped. Plus, I overheard some seventh years talking about a passage to Hogsmeade on the fourth floor, so we'll need to find that."

"Can't believe we haven't yet," replied Peter. "With that one it'll make, what, seven passages? Think there are any more?"

"Probably loads," said Sirius. He had sat up and pulled out a spare piece of parchment, and was beginning to jot down what looked like equations, but it was hard for James to tell. "The founders were barmy, Merlin knows what else the castle is hiding."

James watched as Sirius finished with a flourish and passed the parchment to a nearly sleeping Remus, who took it and peered at it with one eye open.

"Thanks Sirius," he sighed. "Honestly, I don't know why you lot have me working on the map's charms. You're both better at it than me."

"Nonsense, my dear Moony," proclaimed James and Sirius leaned back into his lap. "I suppose Sirius is top of the class, but you're ahead of me, anyways."

"That's because you don't study. Honestly, James," Remus sighed again. He did that a lot. "If you ever opened a book, you might actually pass Lily as top of our year."

"That's why we need you to do this, Rem," said Sirius, ruffling Remus' hair affectionately. "You actually open books! Plus, you're top of arithmancy, except for Evans, of course. That's just as important for the charms on the map."

"'Spose you're right. Still, will you help me with this next part lads? I think Sirius' equations might help me crack it," he waved the parchment Sirius had just handed him over his head, "but having an extra brain or two will be helpful."

James was about to argue that he was doing just enough work as it was, thank you very much, before he remembered that Remus wasn't supposed to _know_ about the extra work he, Sirius, and Peter were already doing. "Sure, Moony," he finally agreed amiably. "We can work on it tonight, while Peter does his drawing."

"Speaking of tonight," put in Peter as he closed his book, "We should head inside, or we'll miss dinner."

James waited as Moony and Sirius lifted themselves off the ground – the former with help from the latter, and then hoisted himself up as well. As he picked up his bag, he noticed that Sirius had already grabbed his own and Remus' as well.

Remus often hid how hard the full moons were on his body. James had some sense of an idea, of course, from how drawn his friend's pale face looked to the added scars on his body, but Sirius always seemed to know exactly how Remus was feeling.

James and Sirius had been brothers from the moment they met – thick as thieves – and he always considered Peter and Remus his best friends. But however close he was with Remus, Sirius was closer, and sometimes he envied the boy a little. Still, they were Mauraders – no matter who was closest with who, that was a bond that couldn't be broken.

He was snapped out of his reverie by Peter bumping his shoulder as they entered the castle. "Snivellus," he hissed, with a nod just down the hallway.

James looked up just in time to meet the eyes of Severus Snape, who was looking his direction. He felt more than saw the Mauraders move behind him, flanking him – Sirius on his right, and Peter on his left. James stepped forward in front of Remus – Snivellus had an annoying habit of trying to figure out his _furry little problem_ and was prone to randomly jinxing and hexing him in the hallways. And that was simply not on.

"Potter," Snape said, stepping forward as well. Avery and Mulciber flanked him, mirroring the Mauraders stance. He could see Regulus poking his head around the corner – probably sent to watch in case any professors decided to stray from the Great Hall during dinner and interrupted whatever the Slytherin boys had been planning.

"Snivellus," James responded. They sized each up for a moment, before wands were slashing through the air.

" _Impedimentia_!" James called the first jinx that came to his mind at the same time he heard Snape cast _Flipendo_.

James dodged Snape's blast, pulling Remus with him. The other boy stumbled into Sirius but kept his footing.

"Ickle Lupin doesn't want to stand up for himself?" taunted Snape, who had somehow dodged James' curse and was raising his wand again.

" _Waddiwasi_!" James cast back at Snape. He had a second to smirk in satisfaction as the quill that he had sent flying from his bag embedded in Snape's arm, before he realized that whatever curse Snape had sent hadn't come his way.

It was as if time slowed – he watched as Peter dashed off towards the Great Hall and the professors, _not fast enough_ , and as Sirius' blasting curse knocked the Slytherin's back. He saw blood trickle across the stone floor, felt himself drop to the ground next to Remus, his wand forgotten, to press two hands to the bloody wound opening up on Remus' abdomen. The world was at a standstill, although he realized someone was shouting and that someone must have been him, before a red head and black head dropped down next to him, both grabbing on.

"Potter," Lily's voice finally broke through and the world sped up again. "James please, McGonagall is here."

He felt Lily move his hands away from Remus and noticed the glow that he had covered up as the wounds began to knit themselves back together. He felt Sirius link an arm around his waist and his muffled voice against his shoulder. It took him a moment to realize it was Sirius, speaking slightly wetly against him. "He's going to be alright, Jamie. It's okay."

McGonagall had Remus on a stretcher and was mumbling about the Hospital Wing. He turned his head and noticed Slughorn and Flitwick were doing the same with the three Slytherins.

"I can't believe you attacked him!" Lily rounded on James and Sirius.

"Evans, what?" James looked up, completely baffled. Lily thought _they_ had attacked Remus? "We didn't hurt Remus, he's our best mate."

James saw Sirius' eyes widen, as if with a dawning realization, just as Lily responded. "Not Remus, I mean Severus. I honestly can't understand why you keep picking on him like this."

"Pick on _Snivellus_? Do you hear yourself right now Evans?" James asked, venom lacing his every word. "My best mate is in the Hospital Wing after I tried to keep him staining the whole Entrance Hall with his blood, and you think I picked on the bloke that put him there?"

"You didn't throw the first curse, then?" Lily jabbed back, equally angry. "You're not the reason this whole stupid duel started?"

"Evans…" James vaguely heard Sirius begin in a warning tone, but he cut him off, ears buzzing and throat tight with anger.

"What was I supposed to do, Evans? What would your brilliant plan be? Let him throw curses without defending myself?"

"Better you than _four_ different people." Her voice had raised to shrill tones, now. He could vaguely feel Sirius shift back closer to him.

"You think he would have stopped, Evans, after he had taken me out? Have you seriously not noticed how much he's had it out for Remus? He's hell-bent on finding why Remus disappears. He's hurting him at every opportunity. And I'm what – supposed to just step aside? 'Oh Snivellus, no worries, take me out and then go after my best mate, in the name of sportsmanship'." James saw her face fall, but he couldn't stop himself – didn't know where this was coming from. He'd never been a particularly angry person. Passionate, yes, but not angry. But now? He was angry now.

"People are dying, Lily. And you know what Snivellus is doing? He's already making graduation plans to _help_ the killers. He's going around calling every muggle-born student in the school a mudblood, except for _you_. I know you know this – so help me understand, how is it that you keep defending him?"

To his surprise, Lily burst into tears. For a moment, James looked on incredulously, before all the fight went out of him. He saw Sirius hesitate between the two of them, as if wondering who to comfort. James made the decision for him.

Stepping forward, he put a hand on Lily's shoulder. He took it as a good sign when she didn't immediately fight him off.

"Ev – Lily, I'm sorry." He dropped his hand and let Sirius wrap his arm around Lily's shoulders while flagging down Marlene and Mary with his other hand, who had just been allowed into the Entrance Hall by a rather harassed looking Professor Sprout.

"I'm just so scared," she said, looking up at him finally. "I couldn't – I just –" She hiccupped, "I came in and I saw Remus on the ground, and then I saw Severus and Avery and Mulciber. Sev's my oldest friend – but my first thought wasn't for him. It was for Remus. I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what to do."

Marlene and Mary finally made their way to them, and Lily extracted herself from Sirius. James watched as Sirius looked at her for a moment. "We do the best we can, Lils," he heard Sirius say, though his mouth barely moved.

James glanced back at Regulus – still peering 'round the corner although there was nothing more to see, really. He had a brief moment of clarity. Sure, Sirius had explained it to him a little – but the way Lily looked right now must be the way Sirius felt constantly about his younger brother. It made James feel helpless.

Just then, his view was blocked by Dumbledore, who arrived looking more severe than usual. "I believe this conversation should be continued in my office," he began. His blue eyes didn't have their usual sparkle. If anything, the headmaster just looked tired to James. "I will have McGonagall begin flooing parents while we talk. Yes, Mr Black, your parents, too," he finished after a slightly frightened look from Sirius.

James felt Sirius tense beside him, and saw the slightly confused look Lily passed between them. While it seemed they may share confidences about some things, clearly Sirius didn't tell Lily everything.

"It was just me, Sir," James said, giving Dumbledore his best guilty look. "Sirius didn't do anything – honest. You can _finite_ my wand if you want. All the spells were mine."

Sirius nudged him, probably because this was not true in the slightest. Dumbledore looked between them, as did Lily. James could tell Dumbledore didn't exactly believe him, but he didn't really need him to. He just needed…plausible deniability.

"Very well, Mr Potter. I'll take your word for it," Dumbledore responded mildly. "I will have McGonagall floo your parents and they can meet us in my office. You'll need to come, too, Mr Black. I believe Professor Slughorn has already sent Mr Pettigrew and the younger Mr Black to wait for us there."

Sirius relaxed ever so slightly beside James. Whatever James' parents would say, they loved him and Sirius and always would – not like Sirius' parents.

"Ms Evans?" Dumbledore turned to Lily, who clearly looked startled to be addressed. "Make sure you go to Madame Pomfrey. She can assess you for shock and provide you a calming draught. Ms MacDonald, McKinnon, see to it that Ms Evans makes it there."

With rushed agreement from the girls, Dumbledore turned in a swirl of his robes, Sirius and James following side-by-side in his wake.


	9. Interlude: Sirius Becomes a Potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had debated showing this scene so many times. Didn't really know if I wanted to write it or not, but honestly I love Sirius so I can't not. Sirius ran away in '75 when he was going into 5th year – before they had managed to become animagi or completed the map.
> 
> TW FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INVOLVING A CHILD – if you want to skip the spooky stuff just skip down to James' POV, after the first set of asterisks.

Sirius Black had had quite enough. He had been left some hours ago curled up in the fetal position in the cellar of Grimmauld Place – the only location in the house that his mother would allow him to bleed on.

He wasn't sure why, this time. If he were honest, he didn't know how long it had even been since he'd left Hogwarts for the summer. But no, he didn't know why – because the first week he'd been uncharacteristically quiet. He'd kept his head down, stayed in his room as much as he dared. He knew they'd heard things, of course – Reg was always a tattle, writing home all the time from Hogwarts to inform him of Sirius' great misdeeds. Perhaps they found the letters he exchanged with Lily, or maybe it was the new poster he had put up of the Muggle band Queen.

But at some point, after that first week, his father, drunk as a sailor, had pulled him out of his room to talk "man-to-man," or some shite like that. His father had always been creative with punishment – curses that didn't leave marks, hexes in places that clothes covered. This time, though, his father told him if he loved muggles so much, maybe he'd see sense if he was punished like one.

That's when the beatings started – and, of course, if he were punished like a muggle, they'd let him heal like a muggle, too. His father would mutter about blood-traitors and mudbloods as he beat Sirius. Eventually he'd leave him in the cellar to heal. Sometimes Reg would sneak him food when his parents forgot to feed him, or quick healing spells here and there – as if he were guilty. And he probably was. But at this point, it didn't matter. Sirius couldn't tell up from down and he would sell his soul for a glass of clean water.

He needed to leave if he wanted to make it back to Hogwarts alive, because Sirius Orion Black sure as hell wouldn't give in to his father's cruelty and mother's ignorance. Slowly, he dragged himself to the cellar stairs. Blood smeared behind him – he hadn't logically understood he was bleeding until now – and he wasn't sure where it was coming from. His head? Mouth? Side? Everything was fuzzy, at this point he wasn't sure that he was even still alive.

Somehow he got through the cellar door – they must not have locked it, expecting him to be too injured to make it this far. Or perhaps not caring if he left.

He needed only to round the corner and he'd be at the fireplace – praying it was already lit. He didn't know where his wand was, couldn't light the fire even if he wanted to. He'd also have to stand to reach the floo powder. It might kill him, he considered, but he did not very well care at this point.

He rounded the corner on all fours and naturally ran smack into Regulus. "Shit," he heard his brother breathe.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Regulus hissed at him. "If they wake up and you're out here, they'll kill you."

Sirius cast a glance towards the fireplace – calculating if he could beat Regulus there, knowing it was useless. It wasn't even lit, he'd never get out.

Reg caught his eye movement, looked between Sirius and the fireplace. "Merlin's balls," Regulus groaned. "You'd better show up alive and well at Hogwarts this fall, okay?"

Before Sirius knew what was happening, a fire had been lit in the grate. He watched as Regulus threw floo powder in and the flames turned green. The younger boy turned to Sirius, who groaned in agony as hands hooked under his armpits and dragged him toward the fireplace.

He felt the tickle of the green fire as Reg shoved him inside and gasped out the words he knew so well, "James' room, Potter Manor." The floo swirled and he felt himself sucked away, slipping into oblivion.

***

James Potter was woken by the floo in his room swirling to life. There were a very few people who had access to the personal one in his room – really just the Mauraders and his parents, of course. Whatever he was expecting, though, it wasn't the crumpled body that lay on his hearth.

"Merlin," he breathed, rushing over to the too-still form of Sirius on the ground. The other boy was unmoving but whimpering – calling out something. It took James a moment to make it out – the older boy was mumbling "Mum" over and over, almost a prayer.

It took James a moment to realize that Sirius was not calling out for his own mum, but rather for James'.

He took a shaky breath and began to yell. "MUM," called James. "DAD!" He pulled out his wand, intent on healing Sirius, but there was too much. He could do basic charms – all the Mauraders were prone to accidents, after all, but this was too much. He was worse, even, than Remus was after most full moons.

He could hear a set of footsteps approaching his room. James wasn't really sure if his parents had heard him calling or had been alerted to the floo connection opening in the middle of the night.

"Jamie?" his dad asked, entering James' room. James gestured, helplessly, towards Sirius on the ground. "Merlin, fuck. What happened?" Fleamont Potter was already on his knees next to the helpless boy, whispering healing spells between breaths.

James felt surprise behind his shock – his father never swore. If he was worried…it wasn't good for Sirius. His dad was unshakeable, normally.

His mother came through next, her eyes zeroing in on the boy on the ground as soon as she entered the room. She spared a passing worried glance for James – who wasn't offended, really; _he_ wasn't the one bleeding out on the ground – before rushing towards Sirius.

"I'm here, love," he heard her whisper to Sirius who had stopped whimpering at her presence and was lying still. James watched as they levitated him to his bed.

"Shouldn't we take him to Mungo's?" James finally asked in a small voice.

His father looked up, as if seeming to remember James was there, and gestured him to come forward. "He's saying your name," Fleamont said by way of explanation. James approached the bed with some trepidation. He was no stranger to injuries – they visited Remus after every full moon, after all – but this was different. His boisterous best mate, the boy who was practically his brother, lying in his bed a shivering, bloody mess was so very far from what he was used to seeing.

It didn't matter, though. As he hovered over the bed, Sirius reached out and grasped his hand. His dark eyes cracked open for a moment and he smiled softly at James, who sighed in relief. In the next moment, his mother was forcing a potion down Sirius' throat. He fell asleep almost immediately.

His parents stepped back for a moment, his mum collapsing in a chair before she spoke to him. "If we took him to Mungo's they'd have to notify his parents, Jamie," she said softly. She pulled him towards her and bundled James in her arms. He let himself curl up for a moment, feeling suddenly like a small boy in a much to big and dangerous world.

"Your father can brew whatever we need," she whispered softly in his ear. "I'll call in Madame Pomfrey if we can't handle it, she and Headmaster Dumbledore will be discreet."

He nodded into her shoulder, not bothering to hide the tears. He had knew Sirius had a hard time at home and sometimes angered his parents, but James had never imagined for a moment that something like this could happen – couldn't fathom having parents who did anything but love their children.

"We'll set up the room next door for you," his father said. "We all need rest."

James shook his head. "I'm staying here," he responded stubbornly.

His parents just looked at him, mother nodding in understanding. "Go get changed then," she finally sighed. "You have blood on your clothes. I'll change the sheets." He extracted himself from her to do as she asked.

"I'll stay with them tonight," he heard her add to his father. "Make sure he makes it out of the worst of this."

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Fleamont Potter muttered quietly – he probably thought he wouldn't' be overheard, but James wasn't a marauder for nothing.

And honestly, James thought, he hoped his father _did_ kill Orion Black.

***

Sirius awoke to a body wrapped around his and a soft lullaby sung from somewhere above him.

_Bonne nuit cher enfant_

_Dans tes langes blanches_

_Repose joyeux_

_En rêvant des cieux_

He quickly realized he couldn't open his eyes and _everything_ hurt. Bits and pieces of the night before came back to him. What had happened? Where _was_ he?

_Quand le jour reviendra_

_Tu te réveilleras_

He tried to shift, to figure out where he was, but pain lanced through him and he cried out. The singing stopped, the body beside his shifted, and someone grabbed his hand. There was something whispered in a hushed tone and he felt his body relax. His eyes opened a fraction.

"Jamie?" he croaked, trying to make sense of the shape beside him.

"I'm here," the voice of his best friend whispered back, the hand in his squeezing slightly.

A softer voice spoke, then. "Drink this, love," it said. Slowly, his brain connected the dots. It was Mrs Potter. Before he could say anything, he felt a cool liquid in his throat, and sleep claimed him again.

***

It had been a week since Sirius had shown up in James' fireplace. Mrs Potter allowed Sirius up and out of bed for meals, but other than that he was on strict bedrest in order to heal – and honestly, it was the worst thing he had ever experienced.

James was with him almost constantly, reading to him from their school books, or prank planning with him for the upcoming school year. Moony and Peter were to join them at the Potter Manor when he was fully healed, but not before. According to Mr Potter, they were prone to too much troublemaking to all be in the same place at once while Sirius was injured. It was alright anyways, there was a full moon to think about yet that month and Pete was travelling with his parents, anyways.

Moony had visited a couple of times – James had convinced his parents on behalf of Sirius. After all, no one knew better than Remus what it was like to be confined to bed rest.

On one of such occasions, the three boys were in the sitting room eating lunch, Sirius braced upright on the large chair in the sitting room, the boys on the floor below him. Moony was busy recounting a colossal argument between an unfortunate Ravenclaw and their own Lily Evans that resulted when the latter made an unwise comment about female teachers at Hogwarts when James' dad stormed in, followed by his worried-looking mum.

"What is it, Da?" James asked as Remus broke off abruptly in the middle of a sentence.

The man was fuming; Sirius flinched out of habit as he approached. Both the elder Potters stopped short, and Remus put a tentative hand on Sirius' knee.

Fleamont Potter took a moment to collect himself, before giving a pained smile to Sirius and extending his hand slowly. It took a moment to see what was in it – but it was unmistakably Sirius' wand, offered handle first towards him.

"My wand?" Sirius asked in awe. He hadn't seen it since his parents had confiscated it weeks ago at Grimmauld Place. Right before the beatings had started.

Fleamont Potter smiled at him. "All yours again," he said. "Just keep the mischief making out of the house," he added with a wink.

Sirius snorted. He could hardly move in his state, much less find mischief to get up to. But then again…James, seeming to read his mind, gave him a distinctly evil grin.

James' parents both sat down on the couch across from Sirius, looking somber again. "Now, we need to talk about the rest of the summer, boys. And about what will happen after that."

Sirius swallowed in apprehension. He knew how this talk went – they had it every time he visited James over the hols. It was where James' parents told him it was time to go home, and to keep his nose out of trouble.

James hoisted himself from the floor and lowered himself to the arm of the chair beside Sirius. Remus shifted closer, his shoulder now pressed to Sirius' leg.

"You're not sending him back," James said, his voice hard. Sirius relaxed minutely. James' parents never, ever said no to him.

To all the boys' surprise, Mr Potter nearly chuckled. "We never would, Jamie." He turned to Sirius. "I went today to retrieve your wand and your belongings. Your parents were…less than helpful." He sighed and looked to his wife, who took over with a sigh.

"They wouldn't hand anything over except your wand," she said, looking sympathetically at Sirius. "We'll have to go to Diagon to get you more school things and clothes."

"Muggle London," James interjected.

"Muggle London?" his father responded, looking confused.

Sirius let a grin split his face, but Moony answered somberly for him. "A man cannot survive on robes alone."

Mr Potter looked extraordinarily confused, but smiled nonetheless. "We can shop wherever Sirius pleases," he amended. "The problem is, lad, your parents have disowned you."

They paused to let the news sink in. Sirius looked back and forth, sure this must be some kind of sick joke.

"They have?" he finally asked. James' mum nodded affirmatively.

"So I never have to go back?"

Fleamont Potter smiled tenderly. "Never. We've talked and you're welcome to stay here as long as you need, but we insist you live with us until you graduate Hogwarts, at least." Sirius' eyes widened in shock, and he felt James squeeze his shoulder.

"The ministry has given us guardianship of you," James' mum continued, "Until you turn seventeen. We'll make up a room for you beside Jamie's. Is that alright, love?" she asked Sirius.

He was grinning too wide to answer, but Moony did for him, in his usual way. "Wicked," said the werewolf with a grin.

Sirius looked at James. "We're brothers now."

James' smile screamed mischief, and Sirius had not felt so happy in years.


	10. Fifth Year - Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've shifted some canon timelines here for my own benefits, and honestly because capturing everything I'd like to in one-shots is difficult, especially with trying to have the consistent pattern of Lily's chapter followed by James. And since I wanted to use sixth year to start showing the development of their relationship, I had to reposition the James/Severus/Lily debacle that we saw with Harry in the penseive to the beginning of fifth year so we have time to see some other stuff. If everyone hasn't noticed, I've also avoided showing scenes that we've already seen happen in the books. This means I'm skipping out on writing the time Snape tried to sneak into the Shrieking Shack, although I'll address some of the fall-out in James' fifth year chapter. For this reason, and because canonically what Harry saw in the pensieve was merely a couple weeks after that incident, we'll be assuming both of them had happened before this chapter, so near to the beginning of fifth year. So…if you're a big stickler for canon, I'm sorry (kind of, lol), but I think it's really the only time I'll hugely diverge from canon in this fic! It's been important to me in this fic to kind of bridge the little snapshots we see from Harry's POV in the book with context without revisiting anything we've already seen.

Lily packed up her books slowly. Curfew was nearing, but she didn't particularly want to head back to the common room. She was studying alone tonight – Mary and Alice were off at dueling club, which Lily had skipped to visit Remus in the hospital wing – and Marlene had Quidditch practice, although she was probably arriving back in the dormitory now, windswept and likely too pleased with herself.

Marls had joined Quididtch just this year as a Chaser – alongside, of course, James Potter, who was precisely the reason Lily had been avoiding the common room as much as possible during her fifth year. It wasn't as if Potter was horrid anymore. He had stopped asking her out incessantly and rudely. In fact, it seemed as though they had ended fourth year as almost-friends. Indeed, her normal letter writing to Remus over the summer had extended to Black, which extended to a few letters to Peter and Potter as well. He was perfectly polite when they came back. Except, of course, he continued to hex Severus.

And that was the crux of it, really. She had no idea what to do. James Potter was nice – except he was horrid to Severus. Severus was horrid – except he was nice to her. Sort of. Mostly, Lily was confused, and a traitorous part of her thought that Sev deserved what he was getting. After all, last year he had nearly killed Remus, and this year already he had tried to sneak into the Shrieking Shack, where she knew Lupin transformed every full moon.

And the more she was seen around James Potter and the Mauraders, of course, the bigger of a target she became for the Slytherins. And for Sev's rage – he loathed Potter more than anything. Mostly, Lily just felt stuck in the middle.

But perhaps if Severus wasn't around his friends so much – if Lily could just talk to him, he'd see how wrong he was, and he'd be able to change. Then it would be just like they were before Hogwarts – Sev and Lily against the world.

She slipped out of the library, bag over her shoulder, and walked smack into Severus on the other side. He looked as though he was just about to enter the library, books and parchment in hand and harried look on his face. A momentary stab of longing went through her. Two years ago, she would have been walking in along with him to hide in the back corner and gossip about Potter and Black as they worked on their homework.

Now, he just looked at her contemptuously. "Out of my way, Mudblood," he snarled. She watched – sort of detached from her body – as he stopped and turned back to look at her, his eyes widening apologetically. He opened his mouth – Merlin knew what he was going to say – but Lily had had enough.

She spun on her heel and fled without looking where she was going, really, just determined not to cry until she got somewhere safe. The last thing she wanted right now was her dormitory; she'd have to pass Potter, and Marlene was so proud of Quidditch that Lily could hardly dare to bring her mood down with talk of Severus Snape, so she settled for heading upwards towards the astronomy tower.

Lily rounded a corner, slowing down, and for the second time that night bumped into someone. This time, the someone put his arms out to steady her. Her cheek brushed leather jacket that carried the faint smell of cigarettes.

"Black," she said without looking up. She stepped out of his grasp slowly.

"Evans," Black quirked a smile at her. "I wouldn't go that way if I were you. Slughorn and Peeves are going at it; all the first years are out of bed and watching."

"What did you do?" The prefect in her couldn't help but ask, even if she knew Black would never telling.

"Ah ah," he responded teasingly. "Mauraders don't prank and tell." She watched him take a good look at her face, then, and Lily tried honestly to blend into the walls – sure the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes were obvious.

"Lils, what's happened?"

She just shook her head, although she was more than a little surprised. With Sirius, they were always Evans and Black to each other. He never called her Lily, and definitely not Lils. That was something only her closest friends did. Severus used to call her Lils, too. A tear escaped, but she wiped it away quickly.

"Okay," Sirius sighed. "Not here, c'mon."

He strode off down the corridor. She vaguely recognized that they were somewhere on the fourth floor. Sirius stopped in front of a mirror, so abruptly she almost bumped into him. He raised his wand and whispered what must have been an incantation at the mirror. She couldn't hear what it was, but suddenly the mirror swung to the side, opening up to a spacious cavern.

Sirius ushered her in and the mirror clicked closed behind them, plunging them into blackness. Moments later, after the swish of a wand, she was bathed in the blue light of Black's conjured flames. They lit up the cavern around her, and she noticed then that there was a hallway extending into darkness on the opposite side.

"What is this place?" she asked. Her voice sounded hollow, even to her own ears.

"Passage to Hogsmeade," Sirius responded. "No, don't ask me where it goes or how to get in," he continued when she opened her mouth to ask just that. "I'll have to hex you if I tell you."

"Whatever, Black," she settled on as a response. "You're an arse."

"Might be," he responded with some cheek, "But you haven't run away yet, Evans."

Lily snorted. "You called me Lils, before," she said by way of response.

"Well, yeah. That's what your friends call you, innit? We're friends." He gave a her a funny look, as if she should have expected this. Honestly – Mauraders. Lily could never keep up.

"Now want to tell me what's got your knickers in a twist?" She slid down the wall to sit on the floor and he followed her lead, although with much more grace. Lily suspected he didn't want to scratch his leather jacket on the walls.

"No," she said stubbornly, out of habit really. At Sirius' steady look she just sighed. "Snape called me a mudblood, just now."

If Black was startled by the use of Severus' last name, he didn't say anything, just continued to look at her.

"He's done that before," he finally said when it was clear she wasn't going to say anything more. "I don't mean to sound like a complete arse, but why's it different this time?"

Lily chuckled a little in spite of herself. "Don't worry, Black. You always sound like a complete arse." She squealed when he elbowed her in retaliation.

"I don't know why it's different, really," she finally said. "I suppose he calls everyone else with muggle parents the same thing, so it's not as though I should be expecting different treatment. He was always nice to me, though. When the rest of the Slytherin lot weren't around." Lily took a deep breath. Now that she was talking, she felt as though she couldn't stop.

"I guess, after he hurt Remus last year, we stopped talking. That was horrid. I've never seen Potter so…" she trailed off, shrugged. "But then I went home – and home is awful, really. I love my parents, but I can't do magic there. I think Petunia hates me almost completely, she won't even speak with me. And Snape…he's the only connection I have.

"He first told me I was a witch, you know. I hardly believed him – but he told me all about Hogwarts and the houses. We went shopping in Diagon together for our first year. Then took the train up, all together." She shifted her weight, slightly, before grabbing her wand and casting a quick cushioning charm under them.

"Ta, Evans," Sirius grinned. "My glorious arse thanks you."

"Yeah, you're a glorious arse alright," she responded quickly. "Anyways, we kind of made up last summer. Not without a lot of shouting, mind you. Mostly on my part," she added ruefully. She was known for her temper in the Gryffindor common room. Her parents had always called her passionate.

"God, I'm a shit friend to Remus," she sighed. "He nearly died and I spent my summer writing him letters to cheer him up while I made peace with the bloke who nearly killed him. Anyways, it was all fine, you know? It was tense, but it was almost normal."

Sirius squeezed her arm gently as she shifted to face him, finally looking him in the eyes. "It all went to shit when we came back here, though. At first, he just didn't like that I was round you four all the time. Then he pulled that stunt with Lupin and the Shrieking Shack. _Then_ he called me a mudblood. But I still thought that if I could just talk to him, maybe he'd listen. Stop hanging around with Avery and Mulciber, writing to Lucius and whoever else he does." She brushed at the tears that had started to seep from the corners of her eyes again.

"I bumped into him just now – literally, I mean. I was leaving the library and he was going in. I don't think he realized it was me, but he must have, because he told me to get away and called me a mudblood. No one else was around. Just us two. So I think, maybe, he's past saving." She cried in earnest, then. She honestly couldn't help it, as much as she hated it. And it wasn't as though Sirius had ever seen her cry before. Honestly, the two of them ended up in this situation far too often.

"It's the same with Reg, you know," Sirius finally said. "Every summer we make up. As much as we can, I mean. He's too much of a priss to get on the wrong side of my mum and dad. We have good times, though. But then we go to Hogwarts and he's back around the same – Avery, Mulciber, Sniv- Snape."

"Yeah," she said finally. "It's a right load of shite."

"That it is," Sirius agreed somberly. "But it's not your job to save him. He'll have to learn himself. Or he won't. And either way, it's not your fault."

"You're not too bad at this whole friend thing, you know," she responded, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Damn right I'm not, Evans. I've had practice, James can be a great moody git when he wants to." She laughed openly at the thought of James and Sirius having a good cry in a hidden passageway. The mental image was quite something.

They sat together in amiable silence as the fire dwindled, until suddenly the mirror (or rather, door from this side of the passage, Lily supposed) swing outward and light flooded in.

"Oi, Pads, you in here?" The voice that accompanied the momentarily blinding light from the corridor belonged to none other than James Potter. Behind him, she could see the outline of what must be Peter.

"Trust you to be sulking in your favourite passageway. C'mon, we need to head down if we're going to make it to the Hospital Wing before midnight. You know Pomfrey will only let us get away with sneaking in there for so long." James stopped as he finally entered the passageway, looking between Sirius and Lily in stunned silence. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

Sirius merely looked calmly between the two. "I already told you, I don't like that nickname. Pick a different one, you tosser."

James spluttered. "I can't just – no, I'm not changing it. Evans?" he added, turning towards her. "What on earth happened to you?"

"Do I look that bad?" she asked sardonically. James turned about as red as he could and ruffled his hair. She could make out Peter stifling his laughter in the background. "I'm joking, Potter," she finally said, releasing the poor boy from his confused misery of having maybe insulted her. "Pads?" she asked, turning to Sirius.

He just shrugged back. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to hex you." Lily pulled herself to her feet with a smile at that and the turned to help Sirius up.

"How'd you know where to find him?" she asked, turning toward James and Peter. "You can't like, read each other's minds now, can you?"

James merely grinned.

"Honestly, this is where Sirius always goes to sulk," Peter said. "It's the first place we check."

"Good to know," she responded as mock gasped in shock.

"How could you, Pete? Now she has _blackmail material_." He pretended to faint. What a tosser. Although secretly Lily had started to think that the four of them together could be quite charming.

"Yes, Black," she said blandly. "Because of all I know about you, I would definitely choose your prime sulking location as the blackmail I'd use."

James quirked a small grin at her, as if he hadn't expected her to be so witty, or something. "You three are visiting Lupin?" she asked James. "How are you going to manage that without getting caught?"

"We have our ways," James responded in a mockingly mystical voice.

"Plus, Evans," Black interjected, "We could tell you, but-"

"You'd have to hex me," she finished for him, rolling her eyes. "I think I get the idea." She looked between the three of them for a moment, feeling as though they were all unsure of what to do next. "Well? Aren't you going to visit your best mate?" She pretended to sigh at them. "You should go, you know, before I come to my senses and have to take points from my own house."

All three boys' eyes widened. "You _wouldn't_ ," Peter gasped. "You're out of bed, too! You'd have to take points from yourself!"

"Can't take points from fellow prefects, Pete," she quipped back. "Even if that prefect is myself. Now let's go – I can walk you partway in case a professor finds you, say I'm escorting you back to Gryffindor or something. I want to go find Mary, anyhow."

"Aw, Evans," Sirius responded, ruffling her hair (much to her dismay – bloody boys). "We'll make a rule-breaker of you, yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end of the first installment! The last chapter will be James' sixth year one-shot, and then we'll pick up in book 2 where we'll see them through their seventh year as the war really starts brewing. I've started writing it already and am very excited for it.


	11. Fifth Year - James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of the first part of this fic!! Keep an eye out - when I update this with chapter 13 i will ALSO update work #2 in the series with its chapter one. The second work will take us through all of seventh year - it's outlined at around 50 chapters and I'm guessing it'll be around 150k words, although that could change. I'm hoping to get the first third or so written for NaNo this month, I'm already working on chapter 3. Thanks for sticking it out this far with my sporadic updates <333
> 
> Just a reminder that I've shifted some of the canon timeline for my own storytelling purposes. You can read my note from last chapter if you didn't/are confused. 3

"Tonight's the night, lads," Sirius announced gleefully from atop his bed in their dormitory. Peter was adding his finishing touches on the illustration of the map, which needed one more charm from Remus to make it complete. James was sitting on his own bed, playing with the snitch he had nicked from the Quidditch storage cupboard.

Remus was already in the hospital wing, likely waiting for dark to fall so Madame Pomfrey could escort him across the grounds and through the passage in the Whomping Willow. The three others were almost giddy with nervous excitement. Tonight was the first night they'd change with Remus during the full moon.

James and Sirius had mastered their animagus forms by the beginning of the year. Peter's had been shaky – sometimes he transformed no problem, sometimes James and Sirius would have to help him fix a leftover whisker. One time it was a tail, which had prompted the other two to begin affectionately calling him Wormtail.

While Peter worked on mastering his transformations, the three had explored whenever they were able – which meant, more or less, whenever Remus was studying. Soon, the other two had begun calling James Prongs, and Sirius was dubbed Padfoot. Their animals suited them, James felt almost regal as a stag and he was quite sure that if Sirius could stay in his animagus form as a big, black dog most of the day he would. Peter's rat was downright useful for getting under the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack. They'd practiced numerous times.

They'd also finished all the exploring and drawings to the Mauraders Map without Remus knowing. The plan was to present it to him the morning after their first full moon together – he would no doubt be angry that they put themselves at risk for him – but Remus could never turn down a good bit of charm work.

"Shall we get going?" James asked anxiously. It wasn't quite dark yet, but Sirius and James were still able to squish under the invisibility cloak together if Peter turned into a rat. Then, the three could head down to the forest and change there. "I want to change early, go over the route and all that."

They had picked out a route through the forest to take wolf Remus through. Technically, he wasn't supposed to leave the Shrieking Shack while he was transformed, but the stag and big, black dog together were more than enough to keep the wolf away from any humans. Plus, the forest was full of animals, not people, and everyone in the castle would be asleep.

"Let's go, then," Peter said finally, glancing over at the two of them. "I'm finished enough, and anyhow, I can't wait any longer."

James stood up and pulled the cloak out of his trunk, wrapping himself and Sirius in it together. It took them a moment to get adjusted. Sirius was quite broad now and filled up much of the space in the cloak. As they folded the cloak around them, Peter, now a rat, scampered over and climbed up James' arm, coming to rest on his shoulder with a squeak.

James sniggered. "Alright there, Wormtail?" Pete squeaked angrily again before they set off through the castle.

There was nothing that James loved more than wandering the castle in the dark. The building became more mysterious, sure, and maybe in first year he had found it the tiniest bit scary, but now he felt free. In the cloak and with his best mates by his side, he was virtually untouchable.

They carefully sped up their pace as they arrived on the grounds. No one could see them in the dark if their cloak slipped, but it meant that they also couldn't see anything that may trip them. When they had gotten far enough away from the castle, James stopped at almost the same moment as Sirius.

"Ready?" Sirius turned to ask him. James could vaguely make out the cocky grin Sirius flashed him before he shrunk suddenly. James looked down at where his best mate had stood, there was now a giant dog in his place. James grinned back.

James focused for a moment, and felt his body elongate and change. He blinked and suddenly he was looking at the world in greys and blues from eyes on either side of his head. Padfoot was already racing up ahead of him and barked once – James knew it was his way of telling James to follow. He paused a moment to let Wormtail re-situate himself on his back, after almost getting knocked off of James' shoulder by his change, and then he was off.

Black and white vision always took getting used to, but he never stopped being fascinated by how well he could _see_ at night as a stag. When he caught up to Padfoot, who had slowed to a stop, he shook his head and stamped his feet – letting out something that sounded almost like a whinny. Padfoot barked again and was off.

They traced a simple route through the forest, running and tousling with each other – Peter hanging onto James' back for dear life. They weren't going very deep into the forest – not for their first adventure. Sirius had been worried about what they may encounter, but James was mostly worried about corralling Remus back before the morning.

They stopped when they heard the howl. James peeked through the tree cover with his stag-vision and saw the full moon rising in the sky. He stamped his foot once and was off towards the Willow, knowing Sirius would follow behind him.

Arriving at the Whomping Willow, they stood just outside the reach of the branches. With practiced ease, Peter scampered down James to the ground and dashed beneath the branches. Prongs and Padfoot waited for a moment, panting, until the branches stopped swinging. They both hurried forward, James pausing at the entrance so Sirius could go through first.

They had read as much as possible and talked it down to a science. Sirius was sent in first, being the closest being to Remus' wolf. They hoped the wolf would be able to recognize Padfoot as part of his pack. James, bigger and with his large antlers, was there for backup should anything go wrong.

The tunnel was James' least favourite part. With the biggest and widest body of the three, he had to crouch awkwardly on his stag legs and almost crawl through. The first few times they had tried while practicing for the full moon, he had gotten stuck and had to change back to get out. On one memorable occasion, his antlers had gotten stuck in a crack in the stone which he was now careful to avoid. This was when Sirius and Peter had begun calling him Prongs.

The first thing he heard when Sirius exited the tunnel was growling. He couldn't tell who it belonged to – Sirius, Remus, or both, but he shot forward as quickly as he could in his awkward position. Soon enough, he was out of the tunnel and taking in the sight ahead of him.

Padfoot had just thrown Remus across the room. Remus hunched, growling at the extra intruders. Padfoot started to advance, but James shook his head at the dog. He crept forward himself, slowly. Remus was trembling when James reached him – he wasn't sure if it was fear or anger, but he knelt slowly and bumped the side of the wolfs head with his antlers.

For a moment, Remus snarled, and he thought he had made a poor decision. But then the wolf yelped – a gleeful sort of thing, and spun to face Sirius again. James watched as Moony sniffed, slowly coming closer. Padfoot, sensing the mood of the room, tucked his tail and dropped his ears, allowing Moony to sniff him properly.

Suddenly, Moony yelped again, and the three of them were tussling in the cramped space of the shack. James snorted and stomped his hoof – apparently his only real way of communicating. He looked around for Peter, who had been sniffing around Remus and was now sitting atop Padfoot's back. Satisfied with the other boy's position, he gestured with his head to the entrance to the shack. Sirius barked and jumped then led the way in, Moony behind him and James following last.

The Maurauders had adventuring to do.

James was woken by someone roughly shaking him. He was vaguely aware he still had four limbs and a heavy head of antlers, but when he looked up he saw a human Sirius bending towards his face. Quickly, James changed back. He checked his pocket for his wand, out of habit.

"Moony's changed back," Sirius whispered. He's asleep, but the sun's almost up. Pete's already gone ahead to check for Pomfrey, we need to follow him."

James shook himself blearily and stretched. "Let's just hide under the cloak," he said. "I want to see how Remus is when he wakes up. We can follow them back through the tunnel, then nick some food from the kitchens and meet him there."

"Pete's gonna hate us for leaving him out of the fun," Sirius grinned, but he nevertheless pulled the cloak out of the pocket he had stuffed it in the night before. "Get under here, then."

It was only a few minutes before Pomfrey arrived through the tunnel, a rat zooming ahead of her and squeaking as she tried to kick it. James had to hold in a snigger as Pete disappeared through a crack in the wall. If he looked closely, he could see the other boy's nose sticking out.

They watched as Pomfrey tenderly shook Remus awake. She placed a hand to his forehead as he stirred. "How are you feeling?" she asked gently.

"Broken wrist, I think," Remus groaned. "'M'okay other than that, I think."

She appraised him quickly before doing a quick wand movement that conjured a brace for his wrist. "You're looking much better than you usually do," she said conversationally as she conjured a stretcher for him. "Maybe the wolf slept some tonight."

"Maybe," Remus said uncomfortably. James saw his eyes dart around the room, gaze narrowed.

"Let's get you up to the castle then, love," Pomfrey said. She levitated him onto the stretcher, and then the whole stretcher in the air. Under unspoken agreement, the boys gave them a couple minutes head start before they followed.

"I think he remembers," Sirius breathed into James' ear. Peter was on his shoulder, now, so he could hear too.

James nodded breathlessly back. Remus was going to kill them.

After nipping up to their dormitory to change and then down to the kitchen for some toast and eggs from the elves, they arrived in front of the Hospital Wing. The boys were all human and had foregone the invisibility cloak – the professors had a tendency to pointedly ignore their early morning wanderings on nights after the full moon. They weren't any earlier than usual today, either. They had found the elves just as they were making breakfast, and really, it was only a couple hours before the rest of the castle would rise, anyways.

The three opened the door and headed directly to the back corner – Remus was always in the same place behind some curtains in case another student happened into the hospital wing while he was recovering.

"Budge over, we brought breakfast," Sirius said when they entered. James watched as he shoved a mumbling Remus aside to hop in the bed next to him. James himself climbed onto the foot of the bed, while Peter took the chair, carefully lowering the food to the table beside the bed.

"Chocolate, too," Pete added, pulling out a handful of chocolate frogs.

One of Remus' eyes popped open and he raised his unbroken wrist so Peter could deposit an unwrapped but struggling frog into his hand. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, eyes still closed, before speaking.

"I suppose one of you is going to explain to me how, exactly, a great big dog, a stag, and a rat appeared in the Shrieking Shack last night?"

The boys all looked to each other before Sirius sighed and, after casting a covert glance around the curtained room, transformed into his animagus self. When Remus didn't immediately open his eyes, Padfoot whined and licked his face.

He opened his eyes then, and James took in the expression on his friends face as Sirius changed back. It was more resigned than anything.

"Aren't you going to yell?" Pete finally asked.

Remus laughed quietly. "I'm too exhausted," he confessed. "Besides, I remember it. The whole thing. And I didn't even hurt myself."

James raised his eyebrows, gesturing to Remus' broken wrist. Remus gave him a small smile. "That's different, James-"

"Prongs," Sirius cut in, looking pleased with himself.

"Yeah?" James responded at the same time as Remus asked a confused "What?" in Sirius' direction.

"He's Prongs now, because he's a stag. Pete's Wormtail, and I'm Padfoot. You're not the only one with a cool nickname now, Moony." Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus, who James was glad to see looked amused. He had been secretly worried that Remus would have felt left out or swept to the side by the other boys. Even though they had become animagi for him, they had done a significant amount of exploring that he had been left out on. But Remus, rather, was beaming.

"Wicked," he said. "Right then. It's different, Prongs. The change did it to me, I didn't do it to myself. Sometimes the bones don't go back how they're supposed to." His face had brightened considerably, and he even leaned forward to accept some toast from Pete. Normally Remus never ate after the moons – except chocolate.

"So," said Sirius conversationally, "is now a good time to tell you we finished the drawing of the map, as near as we can tell? We just need some sort of built in security for it, and that'll be all you, Moony."

Remus grinned at them, the gleam back in his eyes. "I've been thinking about that, actually." He paused for a moment to consider. "You lads know I'll still have to be angry at you tomorrow. Just on principle."

"Yeah," shrugged James. "It's worth it, though."


	12. Sixth Year - Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a shorter one here, but so far all my chapters for seventh year are super long lol

“Okay, what about Golpalott’s Third Law?” Lily asked, raising an eyebrow as he stifled a yawn. “I’m cutting you off after this, Rem. I don’t know how you can even absorb anything when you can barely stay awake.”

“Practice,” Remus responded wryly. “I have ten full moons every year to get all my practice in. Anyways, Golpalott’s Third law says that an antidote to a blended potion has to be equal to more than the sum of all its parts.”

“What does that _mean_ , though?”

Remus gave her a long-suffering look, which made Lily smile to herself. They were curled up in the farthest back corner of the library on a bench seat, Potions books open on their laps. It was a Saturday evening, and strictly speaking they didn’t _need_ to be studying, but Remus had needed help with Potions. Plus, Lily was trying to avoid thinking about the catastrophe that her seventeenth birthday the next day was sure to be.

“It means,” he paused to yawn again, “that you can’t just combine the antidotes for each of the potions in the mix, you need a separate antidote that will work against all the potions and their combined effects.”

“If I could, I’d give you ten points to Gryffindor, Remus Lupin,” Lily smiled at him.

“Shame you can’t,” he responded as they packed their bags, the unspoken agreement hanging in the air that they were too tired and it was time for dinner, anyways. “You could give me back all the points that James and Sirius lose.”

Lily rolled her eyes but refrained from response as they exited the stacks and entered the view of Madame Pince. They picked up their pace quickly, both eager to exit the library and make their way to the Great Hall for dinner.

Remus was looking weak with the full moon approaching in a few days, and Lily could never help but worry. Remus hated being fretted over and had a tendency to sulk if anyone asked how he was doing leading up to or directly following the moon. She had to admit, though, that for whatever reason it seemed as if the moons during sixth year had taken less of a toll on him. He was back in class sooner than previous years, and was looking less drawn, tired, and scarred.

They stepped into the hallway in silence, but walking in sync. Remus paused and stretched upward, his back cracking loudly in the silent hall. Lily raised an eyebrow at him.

“Too much sitting this close to the…” Remus trailed off for a moment and looked around. “It can be hard on my body.”

Lily smiled gently and brushed some red hair out of her eyes. Marlene had cut her a fringe at the beginning of the year, which Lily had ended up despising. Growing it long again was even more miserable.

“At least you’ll be ready to brew your antidote on Monday,” she settled on responding. Avoiding mention of the moon at all costs was often the best policy for times like these.

“Knowing the theory won’t help me a bit, Lils. You know I’m rubbish at potions.” Remus smiled ruefully.

Before she could respond, an arm suddenly wrapped around her shoulder and a body forced its way between her and Remus.

“Black,” she groaned, feeling the telltale leather jacket that signaled Sirius’ presence. “How are you _everywhere_?”

To her chagrin, Remus only laughed.

“I could tell you, Evans,” Black started “-but I’d have to hex you,” the three of them finished together – Lily with an eye roll, Sirius with a flourish, and Remus with a smirk.

“Say, Lily,” Sirius continued grandly. “Have you ever been to the kitchens?”

He looked too innocent. Something was up, Lily knew – but she wasn’t quite sure _what_. Bloody Marauders. “I have not,” she responded, “because I am a good, upstanding citizen of Hogwarts.”

“What do you think, Moony?” Sirius continued in the same grand tone. “Should we corrupt her?”

“I think we should,” Remus responded, leaning around Sirius to give Lily a quick wink.

Lily looked between both of them – Remus’ sincere face and Sirius’ mischievous expression and sighed. After a moment’s indecision, she slid a reciprocating arm around Sirius’ waist. “You’d better not get me caught,” was the only thing she said in response.

“Get you caught?” Sirius gasped in mock-horror. “We never get caught.”

Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Okay, we sometimes get caught,” he acquiesced.

“We often get caught,” Remus sighed. “But we’ve never been caught just for being in the kitchen. It’s not against the rules.”

“I’m fairly sure it is,” Lily responded, laughing. They had arrived at the portrait of the food bowl. She knew where the kitchens were, of course – anyone who was friends with the Marauders did. They had their secrets, sure, but they had been known to share the wealth, too.

Remus looked around at her from the other side of Sirius, a frown on his face. “I guess the house elves like us, then.”

“Everyone likes us, Moony. It’s the Marauder charm,” Sirius responded, removing his arm from Lily’s shoulders to tickle the pear in the painting.

“You’re both insufferable,” Lily said fondly as they stepped inside. Once they were in the passageway, she felt Sirius give her a gentle prod ahead of him. She shot him a questioningly look, but of course he just smiled mysteriously, so she stepped forward and led the way in.

They stepped out into a broad room, as large as the Great Hall itself. There were four tables, clearly reflecting the house tables, plus a table at the front that must have been the head table. Platters of food rested on them, the food occasionally disappearing and then being refilled by the elves. They must have corresponded to the serving dishes upstairs, which explained how the food at Hogwarts seemed to just appear on the tables.

“SURPRISE!” Lily shrieked at the sudden shout that rose around her. She whirled back towards the door, only to see that while she had been distracted, people had poured through it. Mary and Marlene were the closest to her, they squealed and ran up to hug her. She hugged them, taken aback.

“Happy birthday Lils!” gasped Marlene. “Were you surprised?”

“What on earth is going on?” Lily managed to say back, in shock, looking around at the people who had begun to spread out. Alice was there, too, holding the hand of Frank Longbottom, who flashed a small smile at her. Emmeline Vance, a girl from the other dormitory of girls in their year, was standing with Alice. Potter and Peter Pettigrew were there, too, the former running a hand through his hair when Lily’s eyes met his.

“It’s a birthday celebration for you, silly!” squealed Mary. “Come on!”

Lily let Mary half drag her into a side room she hadn’t noticed before. It had a much smaller table, with place settings, it seemed, for everyone who was there. Lily found herself sat between Mary and Marlene. Somehow, Potter and Black ended up directly across from her.

A house elf appeared, serving food to each of them, squeaking excitedly about the honor of serving students in it’s kitchen! Lily had to work hard to stifle her giggles, but when she made eye-contact with Sirius across the table, she knew he was similarly amused.

“Won’t it be suspicious when the teachers realize so many people from our year are missing at dinner?” Lily asked as she started eating.

“Are you ever not worried about getting in trouble, Evans?” James asked impishly from across from her. She bristled, but when she looked up he was smiling teasingly at her. Still, she had to take a deep breath.

“We got permission,” Sirius said. Lily didn’t miss the way he elbowed James in the side. “McGonagall knows, she was okay with it.”

“Permission…just for my birthday?” she asked, almost incredulous. Was it the Marauders who had done it – and just for her?

James mumbled something that she didn’t quite hear. “What, Potter?”

He ruffled a hand through his hair, she didn’t miss the slight blush that had settled on his cheekbones. “I overheard you saying you weren’t looking forward to it,” he finally said, glancing at her quickly – as if expecting her to be mad.

She wasn’t mad, though. She was almost touched – if she could admit it to herself – that James Potter had thought of something so kind to do, just for her.

“After that we just picked a day, set it up with McGonagall and the house elves,” he continued more confidently after seeing she wasn’t getting ready to yell at him.

“Thanks,” she said weakly. She tried to smile, but was pretty sure it had come out sort of wonky. Lily was still confused, sort of, about why the Marauders had done this for her, or even why James had paid so much attention.

“It was all James’ idea,” Mary added from her other side. She didn’t miss the look Mary sent James’ way as she spoke, although Lily didn’t know what to make of it. “He planned everything, too. Just told us when to show up.”

James had turned to his other side to speak to Remus as soon as Mary had looked at him, but Lily saw him glance at her out of the corner of his eye. She looked away as soon as their eyes locked.

Soon, Marlene dragged her, Mary, and Alice into a conversation about the antidote they were to be brewing in Potions on Monday, which somehow led way to the next quidditch match – Gryffindor against Slytherin later that week. Potter and Black both joined the conversation, but there was no more strangeness in Potter’s behaviour towards her. Perhaps she had simply imagined it all.

To Lily’s surprise, when they had finished eating, the same house elf brought out a chocolate cake with the words “Happy Birthday Evans!” on it, in pink icing.

She heard Sirius whisper to James, “did you have to use her last name, you twit?” but chose to ignore it, oddly touched.

James stood up after they had all finished dessert. “So – erm, I think everyone has gifts for Lily. Maybe we could do that now?” he sat down again, quickly, and ruffled his hair.

Lily was overwhelmed. Every single person who had arrived had brought her gifts. Marlene had gotten her a quill that was charmed with everlasting ink (“Like a pen,” she had said, proudly, “but better!”), Marlene a gorgeous necklace with a lily charm on it (“It has a protection charm on it,” she explained. “For small hexes and curses.” She had looked pointedly at the Marauders at this.), and Alice and Frank had together gotten her a beautiful notebook, red leather with pages edged with gold. Emmeline had gotten her a new Gryffindor scarf with a matching hat from Hogsmeade.

The Marauders, it seemed, had banded together to get her a boxed set of books (“My absolute favourite as a kid,” Pete had explained.) – a wizard series of twelve books. Remus tried to apologize, saying they were written for younger witches and wizards than she, and if she didn’t like it they would undoubtedly return it and get her something else. She had simply hugged each of them, overwhelmed and on the verge of tears.

She stayed, too, as they slowly filtered out, thanking everyone and trying not to cry. She ignored the swoop in her stomach every time she neared James, who was currently helping the house elves tidy up (much to their annoyance).

She was wrapped in a bear hug by Sirius. “Hopefully this makes up for whatever your twat of a sister pulls tomorrow,” he whispered in her ear, and she _really_ had to fight back tears, then.

“She’ll probably just ignore it, honestly,” she said to him as he pulled away. He held onto her shoulders at arms length for a moment, squeezing before letting go. “You know where to find me if you need anything,” he said, finally.

“Thanks Black,” she responded, smiling slightly. Peter came next, lifting her almost off her feet as he hugged her, which made her giggle in spite of her emotions. Remus followed, hugging her much more gingerly.

The three of them left together, leaving James and Lily alone. Her stomach swooped again, as she looked around to find him looking at her intently.

“Did you really plan everything?” she asked, more to break the silence than anything.

He smiled at her, a charming smile, really. “The boys helped, honest. Pete was the one who thought of asking McGonagall. Remus thought of using the kitchens.”

Lily had to admit to herself she was surprised – used to James taking credit for everything, arrogant as he was. But then again, perhaps they had all simply grown up – maybe it was unfair of her to think of him as the eleven-year-old that had gotten on her nerves so, so badly.

“But the idea was yours?” She was unsure why she was pushing, only that she needed to know. And maybe, because her stomach had that same swooping feeling every time James ruffled his hair like that.

“Yeah, I guess Pads- Sirius had said something about you not looking forward to your birthday. It made me think that we could make it a little bit better. I hope it was alright,” he finished sheepishly.

“It was amazing,” she said, feeling the blush on her cheeks. At some point, she had moved, and now they were standing quite close to each other. She could feel the heat radiating off him – or was it Lily that was warm?

They looked at each other for a moment, before James took a step back, breaking the silence. Lily was mildly disappointed, if she were being honest with herself.

“I got you something else,” James said, then, running his hand through his hair. She watched, slightly in shock, as he reached into his pocket with his other hand and pulled out a lumpy package, handing it to her.

“Oh,” she said, rather stupidly. She felt herself blush again. Lily carefully pulled the paper off the gift, feeling James’ eyes on her the whole time. It was a pair of gloves made of a light feeling, deep green fabric. She looked up to see James smiling at her.

“I know it’s not much, but- they’re enchanted, so they’ll keep you warm no matter the weather. I know they’re Slytherin colours but…” he trailed off, mumbling something. Lily raised an eyebrow at him.

“Green looks nice on you, I think,” he said after a long breath in.

She felt herself blushing, barely able to bring her eyes up to his.

“Thank you,” she said finally. “They’re perfect.”

And they were, really. Gryffindor red always clashed horribly with her hair, but it was the only colours anyone ever seemed to expect her to wear. She took a deep breath, finally looking back at James. He was shifting, she thought he looked almost anxious – but he was James Potter, he didn’t _get_ anxious. Did he?

“This whole dinner was perfect,” she said to him finally. Before she could stop herself, she leaned towards him, onto her tip-toes, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Face red and hands shaky, she fled the kitchen, then, leaving James staring in shock in her wake.


	13. Sixth Year - James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last piece of sixth year! Sorry it took so long to upload, I've been working like 70 hours per week. First chapter of next book (7th year!) will go up in the next 2-5 minutes!

** Sixth Year – James **

James made his way through the corridors of the Hogwarts Express, trying to shake the bittersweet feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had left Remus and Sirius behind the usual Mauraders compartment – at the very end of the train on the right hand side. It had been their compartment since the first day Sirius and James had met on the Express, and the Mauraders had sat in it for every train ride since. The other two had been deep in discussion over something involving charms, runes, and equations. Normally, James would have enjoyed keeping up, but today he couldn’t focus or sit still.

They were going home from Hogwarts – their last train ride to go home for their last summer break before their last year. It made him want to cry, in a way. The years seemed like they were passing too quickly, like the next time he blinked, it would be gone.

He’d found Peter already, in a compartment with Marlene, who he had been dating for the past two months, and her friends Alice and Mary. Lily hadn’t been there, though, so James hadn’t bothered to stay. The Mauraders had planned to spend the last hour of the train ride together, anyways. Plus, they were all coming to James’ house during the hols, for three weeks between full moons.

James was wandering through the train, now, mostly looking for Lily. He peered through compartment windows as he passed, but so far hadn’t seen her anywhere. She wasn’t with the Mauraders or her friends, though, and it was rare for her to ever be alone. Lily had also looked upset when they all arrived at the train station in Hogsmeade.

Finally, at one of the compartments near the front of the train, he saw a flash of her telltale orange-red hair through the drawn curtains. He was also quite sure he heard crying from beyond the door, but it was hard to tell. After taking a calming breath, he knocked on the door.

He was met with silence, but the sounds of crying seemed to have stopped. The curtains rustled, too, as if she had moved closer to them. After waiting another moment, he knocked again.

“Go away,” came the response this time. Definitely Lily’s voice. He tried to ignore the twist that he felt in his chest a the sound.

“It’s just me, Lils,” he responded, doing his best to keep his voice calm.

After a moment, the door opened. “Don’t call me that,” she said mulishly, but she stepped aside to let him in.

James followed her inside, taking in her swollen eyes and red face. Something had clearly upset her significantly. He perched delicately on the seat beside her as she pushed herself back into the corner. She brought her legs up onto the bench, wrapping her arms around them, and leaned her head back against the wall, eyes closed. James turned so he was facing her, mirroring her position against the opposite wall. Their feet crossed over in the centre of the bench, and James spared a fleeting moment to wonder when he had gotten so _big_ compared to his surroundings.

He also took a moment to look properly at Lily. She had cut her hair at some point before they had left the school, and now it just barely brushed her shoulders. It framed her face nicely, he thought; made her look older than seventeen.

James’ heart was racing slightly, he realized. They hadn’t been alone since the night of her birthday dinner in the kitchens – since she had kissed his cheek. He hadn’t brought it up with her since, partially because he was worried she would be angry if he did, and partially because he didn’t know what he would do if she told him it hadn’t meant anything.

“What happened?” he asked her softly. Lily just shook her head in response without saying anything.

James sighed quietly to himself, until he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was fiddling with something. He sat up to look closer, realizing it was parchment of some kind. Her eyes were still closed, so he leaned forward carefully and reached for it. She tensed when his hands brushed hers, but she released it when he took hold, giving him a slight nod.

It wasn’t a piece of parchment, he realized as he inspected it closer, but rather a piece of paper – the muggle equivalent. It was folded, but was clearly a letter. With one last glance at Lily, whose eyes were still closed, he unfolded it and began to read.

_Lily,_

_I don’t know how to send letters to your dumb school, so I just sent this the normal way. If you don’t get it in time I suppose I’ll tell you what happened when you get back to London. Vernon and I will pick you up at the platform._

_Mum and Dad died in a car crash last week. They said it was instant, they didn’t feel anything. A drunk driver hit them. I’m sorry I have to tell you like this. Their funeral is the first week of July. I’ve moved in with Vernon in the meantime. We’ve already put their house up for sale, I have everything of yours that you left there and some of their stuff that you can look through as well. Vernon says you can stay with us until the funeral, but then you’ll have to find somewhere else. He’s upset we have to postpone our wedding. It’ll be in the fall – you’ll probably be at school, but I’ve included an updated invitation anyways. Come with a date or don’t come at all, but don’t come alone – Vernon doesn’t want any of his friends being_ interested _in you – what with your abnormalities._

_I hope this finds you in time to make plans with your friends for after the funeral. I hope you understand why we don’t want you to stay. It’s just not right, you should be with your kind._

_Petunia_

James read it twice before handing it gingerly back to Lily. It took him a moment to form words – he was more than shocked by the tone of the letter. He knew, of course, that Lily didn’t get along with her sister – but this level of callousness was something he wasn’t sure how to process.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “That was...horrid to read.”

Lily scrubbed her face, finally opening her eyes to look at him. “That’s the nicest she’s been to me in years,” she said, finally.

“Who’s that Vernon bloke?” he asked after a moment’s silence, unsure of what else to say. To his surprise, Lily giggled.

“Her fiancé,” she said. “He’s absolutely awful, and he’s so dull.”

“Sounds like a match made in heaven, to me,” he responded. She kicked his leg lightly in response.

They sat in silence for another moment, James doing his best to watch her inconspicuously. She was looking everywhere but at him, still on the verge of tears but no longer crying. She looked distraught, though, and he couldn’t blame her, really. In fact, in his opinion, she was holding herself together remarkably well. He didn’t know what he’d be like if his parents died. Certainly not able to have a conversation like this.

“Shouldn’t you be off tossing dungbombs in one of the Slytherin compartments, or something?” Lily asked finally.

James laughed for real this time – he couldn’t help it. “I knew we’d make a Maurader of you yet,” he said. “That’s an excellent idea, you’re a born troublemaker, Evans.” She flushed at his words; it made the warm, fluttery feeling in his chest burrow deeper.

“Oh, so you weren’t planning anything for the trip home?” she asked, her tone dripping with sarcasm. He smiled lightly at her.

“We weren’t.” James took mild offense to her disbelieving look. “Honestly, Evans, we weren’t. Don’t want to start of seventh year with detentions.”

“James Potter doesn’t want a detention?” she gasped in mock horror. “Perhaps you should go to Mungos when we get off the train. You don’t seem like yourself.”

He smirked at her, but didn’t respond. It was hard to explain, really. Being more careful with their pranks wasn’t something that had happened overnight. And while they still pulled multitudes of pranks, it had been years since they had gotten into trouble for anything more…unsavory. They no longer lurked in halls or started fights, no longer targeted Slytherin so much, even if the great gits deserved it.

It had been some combination of Remus getting so terrifyingly injured in fourth year and Sirius’ midnight escape to James’ house right before fifth. It had woken them all up, somehow. That, and if Sirius got into bad trouble, his parents were still called – Dumbledore had claimed he had to, even though they had disowned him. James had called bollocks on that, but Dumbledore had insisted that it was still Padfoot’s _family_. Which was ridiculous, of course. The Mauraders – and James and his parents – were Sirius’ _real_ family. But given that Sirius rightfully wanted nothing to do with his parents, they had become much more careful about getting caught for doing anything other than harmless pranks.

“Is it bad that I feel…” Lily cut into his reverie, but trailed off. He looked up at her, then, running an uncertain hand through his hair.

“Feel what?” he asked gently.

“In a way I’m glad they died like this,” she said, finally.

James looked at her in shock – whatever she was about to say, he hadn’t expected that.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she looked down at their intertwined feet as she spoke. “I’m just a – a _mudblood-_ ”

“You’re _not_ ,” James interrupted her fiercely. It was one thing to hear words like that thrown around the school, purebloods spitting it in the faces of muggleborns, but another entirely to hear someone use it in reference to themselves.

“I _am_ ,” Lily insisted vehemently. “I’ll call myself it, and I don’t mind. I’d rather own the word, then it can’t hurt when _they_ use it.”

Privately, James didn’t think it worked that way. Words had power, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself otherwise.

“It’s just-” she continued slowly. “Do you remember Robin Sewell?” 

James nodded, feeling himself flush. Robin had been a Gryffindor three years above them, and James had had a rather horribly embarrassing crush on her over his first and second years at Hogwarts.

“Her family was targeted a few months ago. Just because she’s a muggleborn auror. Her parents and brother…it wasn’t pretty.”

“I never saw that in the Prophet,” James said, confused. Surely he would have heard about a murder on that scale, for that reason.

“They’re not reporting on attacks like those,” she said with a sigh. “We have a bit of a group that corresponds, just – just muggleborns who met at Hogwarts, really. The Ministry doesn’t want to scare people, not over the deaths of muggles, I suppose. They’ve been keeping it out of the papers, but it’s bad.”

She took a deep breath, rubbing her hands over her face. The tears were gone, now. James thought she just looked tired. Tired and scared.

“At least it was fast, you know? A car crash like that – they’re alive one minute and dead the next. They don’t have to live their last moments in fear. I think, really, it’s better this way.” She reached up and pulled her hair into a ponytail. James tried not to focus on how it framed her face, how she looked beautiful like that.

“It’s not better any way,” he said. “There has to be something we can do-”

“Like what?” she asked with a small snort. “We still have a year left at Hogwarts. There’s nothing we can do, even if we wanted to.”

He shook his head. “No, there has to be something. How many of you keep in touch regularly?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I don’t even know everyone. I’d say around fifty, maybe.”

“Can we…take the information we get, print it at Hogwarts, somehow? Make sure everyone knows what’s happening? It’s not fair that we’re kept in the dark, just because we’re students – or because the Ministry doesn’t care about muggles.”

He was met with a tired smile from Lily. “It’s not a bad idea,” she said. “I just don’t have the energy for it now, Potter. Thank you, though. Really.”

“I’ll write over the summer,” he said with finality. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Okay,” she said. “I should go find Marlene, see if I can stay with her after the funeral.”

“Are you really going to go home with your sister until then?” James asked, almost incredulously.

“She’s my sister,” Lily sighed. “She needs me.”

He nodded. He didn’t understand, not really. If Sirius ever spoke to him like that – he couldn’t even wrap his head around. It would never happen. Not Sirius, or Pete, or Remus. But maybe that was the difference between him and Lily. She was born into the family she was born into, it wasn’t her fault. So was James, but he had more family, now – family that he chose. And he would never choose someone so horrid. No one would.

“Do you want me to walk you to their compartment? I know where it is, and I can take Pete with me when we get there.” He did his best to give her a gentle smile, worried it came out closer to a grimace.

They walked down the corridor together in silence. Every time their arms brushed, James felt his body jolt – wondered if she noticed, or if it felt the same to her.

“I’ll write to you,” he said when they arrived at the compartment. “And have a good summer, if I don’t see you again before we leave.” He felt his face heat immediately upon the words exiting his mouth. _Have a good summer_ , as if her parents hadn’t just died, as if she wasn’t attending a funeral in a week.

She didn’t say anything, though, just gave him a small smile. After a moments awkward pause, she stepped closer to him, putting her hands on his chest. James was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating – or started beating so fast that it had just given out. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It wasn’t even a real kiss, not really – just a two second brush of lips, but James was no longer sure if he was awake or dreaming.

“Make sure you do,” was all she said. Her voice sounded uneven, or was he imagining it?

Lily turned on her heel and slid open the door to her friends’ compartment. James was left staring after her like an idiot.

“Potter’s waiting for you,” he heard her say to Peter, as if nothing had happened just now. It could have been hours or minutes before Peter was out of the compartment, standing in front of James suddenly.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asked, a concerned look on his face.

James tried to respond, but it came out a squeak. He cleared his throat under Peter’s amused gaze.

“She kissed me,” he finally whispered.

“Lily kissed you?” Peter responded. “ _Lily Evans_ just kissed you?”

“She did, I think.”

“You _think_?” Pete asked, suspiciously gleefully. “Oh Prongs, you’ve got it _bad_. I’m going to tell Padfoot.”

“What – _Pete no_!” Sirius would never let him live it down, especially not if Peter told him first. In a moment, they were chasing each other down the corridor of the train towards the back, gleefully shooting tickling hexes back and forth as if the world wasn’t falling apart around them.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are! This story is crossposted from fanfiction.net under the same story and author name. The plan is to have 2 or more books, up to at least the death of Lily and James. I'll post once per week until I'm caught up to what's on fanfiction.net, and then hopefully twice per week from there on out! Reviews make posts come faster <3  
> Cas


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